It's a fact: in my part of Bradentucky, an item put on the street corner has a shelf life of t-minus 5 minutes. Someone will come along and pick it up for re purposing, drive off, and you'll forget it was ever in your possession. And that's just the way you want it.
No one living on the street wants to be that exception to unspoken the 5 minute rule.
So let's just say I'm not too proud that we're on the verge of breaking a record for our street. Our Flanders-ized couch has been sitting out there for 3 days and it's getting really, really lonely.
If a calculation loving reader is planning to tell me how many times we've surpassed the 5 minute mark in the many 5 minute periods comprising the last 3 days, you're not doing my pride any favors.
Thanks a lot, you worthless trash collecting picker uppers! Now the City is going to have to call what husband refers to as "The Claw." How embarrassing.
5 comments:
Oh, that is embarrassing. Your old sofa will be the talk of neighborhood block parties for years to come. That will be a hard one to live down.
my ex husband was a terrible hoarder. Occasionally I'd convince him to put something old and useless out on the street. but then he'd get really upset when someone picked it up, saying "I KNEW it was still useful - why did you make me throw it out?"
Set it on fire. That will attract a crowd.
I can't believe it hasn't been snatched up. Someone took our rusty crusty old grill before we moved and it was worthless. Surely your couch is snatch-worthy!
Out here in the woods with my homies, you pick up the couch in my yard and you'll get shot. We use it to drink beer and bird watch. :)
BTW, even though you're a NaPoBoyDressed writer, I'm not a NaPoReadEveryOne reader. You guys!!!
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