A Big Freaking Annoying Inconvenience Thanks to Office Depot

Every once in a while, I appreciate the opportunity to complain. To much of it is bad news. But I'm annoyed and it's all because of Office Depot. And after all, what a great release writing is.

Yesterday:
Place an Office Depot order for materials I HAD to have this morning to complete a project on time.

Today:
1:15 p.m. Order hasn't arrived.
2:38 p.m. Order hasn't arrived.
3:31 p.m. Where the heck...?
4:14: p.m. I can't freaking believe it's still not here.
4:46 p.m. There are 14 minutes left until 5 pm.
5:00 p.m. Could it still come?
5:10 p.m. I'm a believer. Faith. I have faith.

Our receptionist had sent 3 e-mails and called.
I tweeted about it.

5:26 p.m. I call customer service. After going through the whole thing, I am disconnected.

5:32 p.m. Call back, ask for a manager. Which I never get. So tell me again why you didn't give me a manager? Is it because it's after 5:00 p.m.?  Well I'm here after 5:00 p.m. because you didn't deliver the stuff. (And this was the first night in a while I was actually going to leave on time.)

So after cancelling the order, I stop at Office Max to pick up everything that obviously may or may not ever be delivered by Office Depot and to get equipped for a fun night of work that I was supposed to do today. Here's what happens:

The SECOND I walk in "Hello, ma'am, how are you today? What can I help you find?"
He takes me right to what I need.
On the way up to the register not one but TWO representatives offer to help me carry the stuff.
The cashier offers to help me carry it out to the car.

Office Max, you're my hero. Office Depot, you're so dead to me.

And world, I know there are much bigger problems than whether an order was delivered on time. But just entertain my aggravation for one small moment.  And then let's move on to happy things...

Don't you hate it when a company doesn't fulfill its end of the bargain and it affects your productivity or your work?

Funny Side Up

The little guidebook I received when I first accepted my role in this lifetime said that humor would be important. You know, like being able to laugh at yourself, chuckle when others fall short of perfection, and get a kick out of the hiccups in life.  Without being mean about it. Just good-spirited light-heartedness.

From time to time I come across those who fail to crack a smile in meetings, who cannot accept tiny eccentricities in others with a hint of hilarity, or who insist on perceiving unrelenting seriousness as an indication of professionalism. In these cases, I am sometimes guilty of judging the humorless offender as absolutely and utterly arrogant.

Example: Yesterday, I posted what I thought was a joking (but un-mocking and un-hurtful) comment on someone's Facebook status and got chewed for it by another person. I guess the key words here are "I thought." Now I'm sure I'm not as funny as I think I am, so I don't actually make a point of trying to be the funny one in every situation. (Yes, nothing is more annoying that one who tries to play the clown and just doesn't cut it.) But I found this instance to be a bit over the top and felt the urge to reply, "Bite me."
I didn't do that, of course.

I can't emphasize enough how important it is to see the lighter side in things and to appreciate it in other people--that is, it's important if you're ever to keep a sensible distance from the crime of overindulging yourself in...yourself.

I'm grateful to work with a team of people who strive for the best in leadership and innovation yet laugh as part of the daily ritual. We can even get a common chuckle at our own mistakes, since we are people and they do happen every now and then. Remembering a time when it wasn't quite like this in the office, I am even more appreciative for the gift of humor and the role it plays in my own sanity.

Please, Universe, always keep the Funny Side Up on all of my orders of breakfast, lunch and dinner in life's menu of experiences and give me compassion for those who just can't laugh.

Do Birds Leave Their Keys in Co-Workers' Cars Too?

It's been another 10-weeks-in-one sort of week so far. I feel like I don't even know what my name is. Yesterday I took an hour away from the office to do some shopping since I spent half of Saturday at work. I left my keys in my co-worker's car and remembered this tiny little fact after she had departed for the day. Smart,Gropius. Real smart.

Tomorrow I have a 2 hour presentation that I've been looking forward to, but I haven't had the projected time to prepare, so I have my marching orders tonight. I shall dine on a PowerPoint dessert with a cherry on top.

So I totally stole this video from a post on Rambling the Natural World with Ken Brennen, but I had to share it. If you're a nature buff, or even if you hate birds, you'll get enjoyment from it.



Ken has changed my understanding of scientists. Some of them have a damn good sense of humor. And it's usually that dry, understated kind that makes me laugh but always keeps me wondering,"Wait...was that a joke?"

Check his blog out if you like the outdoors and a big bite of contemplative rambling with a purpose.

A Closet for Every Season

Working, just working period, exposes one to many entertaining situations that could easily make any television sitcom. Scenarios that take place in the office—or are shared by people you work with, or are shared by people you network with as a result of working in that office realm, or are created by all of the above—are famously productive waters for emotional reactions.


A well-respected charity-world sage who I’m proud to say is also a Gropius reader said, “I especially love to just go right at the things that upset me, despite the potential chaos, which is why my wife tells me that my wake will be held in a coat closet.” That quote should be featured on a quote-of-the-day calendar...like 365 times.

Sometimes coat closets are a good thing. It’s nice to put bits of hot clothing in the deep recesses of your cool closet and take them out during another season—one in which others have forgotten that you own them or that they have commented on them in a less than forgiving fashion. So that’s what I’m doing.

But I do obsessively refine new "Gropius" episodes of The Office on a daily basis. And I do believe in some corner of my annoyingly active mind that I will one day contact NBC and make a name for the hilarious minutia of collectibles in the daily grind.

By the way, it’s nice to have the space to ruminate on such crap, isn’t it? I am sure by now you have imagined yourself in Haiti and what it might be like after this disaster. Like you, I've seen the news coverage and like you, I would like to do anything that empowers me to help...feeling sorry for the plight of these people isn't helpful!  I don't like feeling powerless. I'm wishing I could get on a relief plane and get there soon to help dig.

One thing I have done: visit this website, where sits a great list of organizations working the front lines there. I’m sure any one of them would be an excellent place for any contribution you can spare.

The Wienie that Never Was

When I hastily opened the Morningstar Farms package of "Fake" Italian Sausages, I thought I read that 4 minutes in the microwave was required.

Three minutes and 50 seconds into the microwaving process, the indescribable odor and smoke--along with 4 alarmed co-workers--all led to one conclusion: I had cooked the living hell out of a piece of textured vegetable protein shaped like a wiener.

One end of "the wienie that never was" had turned to a soupy black explosion, sort of like the campfire marsh mellow that ignites on the end of your stick when you aren't paying attention. After the cooling period, the wienie grew hard enough to break a window. It was a damn shame I didn't have my camera to capture this moment in time...

One by one, employees from all corners of the building streamed into the break room to inquire about the source of the free-floating smell--a combination resembling burnt liquorish, a natural gas leak, and steamed brussel sprouts. Not only did it engulf the break room and far reaches of the second floor, but it infiltrated the clothing of anyone present and wandered down the stairway.

Alone and sorry about all the commotion, yet finding a strange sort of poetic justice in my downstairs office, I thought, "Yep. Karma's getting back everyone who has made fun of my fake meat lunches all these years."

When 1 minute is the microwave limit, 3 minutes 50 seconds is one hell of a trip. And so was the rest of the stinking afternoon.

Wyle E. Coyote, Genius

The most genius tactic emerged at work yesterday...and if you know me, I'm not saying it was at my work.

There's a certain person in the finance department at this unnamed place of business who is notorious for not answering e-mails. The IT manager sent him (or her) a note that said, "I'd like to purchase a yadda yadda and the cost is yadda yadda. If I don't hear back from you, I'll assume it's okay to buy and will go ahead and make the purchase." (Details were left out to protect the innocent.)

Genius!

Granted, it may be funnier if you knew the two individuals. But you have to admit, it's not only witty but such a smart strategy.

...And comparing this to my adoring friend in NC who is desperately trying to get the Counting Crows lead singer to have dinner with her family before their Charlotte show by tweeting the hell out of him on Twitter, this strategy will produce the desired outcome.

This might be fun to try one day...think?

The "Green Initiative" Surprise

Have I told you how incredible my co-workers are?

Checking my e-mail remotely from New Smyrna Beach last week, I uncovered an all-staff "Green Initiatives" meeting planned for work today. It's something we haven't quite tackled, and the timing is a little strange, but whatever. Last night, I printed a bunch of materials to contribute to the conversation since I'm pretty passionate about it. Nicole had prepared a folder complete with her materials and asked me about my ideas before we headed out the door.

I sure didn't expect to walk into the "meeting" to find the whole staff standing there clapping, with photos of myself on the screen at the FPRA/CWC awards banquet, U2 blasting out of the speakers and vegetarian delights everywhere. Needless to say, I was surprised as hell. Who on earth would do this? The amazing, thoughtful, always giving people I work with. And soooo clever. I'm a very suspicious person, and never had the slightest inkling of this... I am so grateful for them.

Thank you! I will remember this for a very, very long time.

Step AWAY from the Screen...

So it's Monday at 7:23 a.m. on the first day of my va/stay-cation, and I've already logged in to my work e-mail. What is wrong with me? I've tried to do a partial psych analysis on myself and, although none of these reasons completely jive, here are some thoughts about why I do it:

• I'm afraid I'll miss something I was supposed to do before I left...Things are always so hectic when you're trying to wrap up.
• I can clean out unwanted stuff so I won't return to 9,002, 087 e-mails when I return.
• I will be alerted to anything big that breaks while I'm away so I won't have the anticipation of returning to something unknown...like life as I know it in the office has drastically changed for some unforseen reason.
• I am addicted to work.

Whatever the reason, they all point to the same truth: I cannot escape from work unless I leave town! (And do not have a computer with me capable of connecting to our Terminal Services!)

When Wednesday comes, I'll be enjoying this reality on the east coast, but for the next two days I'm going to try my best not to log in again. Can I do it? Bets are on.