10 Things That Make Me Want to Crawl in a Hole

No, no of course I'm not complaining. I'm getting it out, trying to make myself laugh, failing at convincing myself it's really just funny and not something to get all tight about.

But what the hell? Here are 10 things that make me want to crawl in a hole:

1. People who throw cigarette butts out the car window.
2. Diet sodas. Let's face it, they taste like shit. If you're going there, just have a water for Christ's sake.
3. Tattle tales. It's true, they even exist as adults. These are people who are usually not super good at what they do and they sit back waiting for you to make a mistake and take note of it. Really? Oh yeah. Really. They're out there.
4. Fur coats or clothing. I'm a little confused about the resurgence of fur. I thought this whole bit of nonsense was in the past. Primarily, I think it's a terrible and immoral practice. Secondarily, it's just ugly. It belongs on an animal, where it's cute and fluffy.
5. That Pierce dude who's taking over Larry King's show. Larry King too. It's different things about them that I find annoying. Arrogance, mainly, but in different ways.
6. Send Out Cards. I will risk really offending someone with this, so I'm sorry in advance. But I like the look and feel of a card you've addressed and signed with your own two hands. I like writing them and I like receiving them. And this makes me like an old fashioned Gramma, I know.
7. Kids in beauty pageants. I'm serious. It's disgusting on so many levels.
8. Professional athletes who rape/ sexually assault women or who abuse animals and have consequences that are either non-existent or so minimal it's like "Oh that's baaad, we'll pretend we're really upset about it and send you to prison for half a year and then you'll get re-hired and make the gazillions back you had before you were busted."
9. The guy on TV who is the host of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. He's the greasy looking man who eats his way across the United States at places that can give you a heart attack just by looking at them. He seems like a nice enough guy, but all of the man jewelry, the facial hair and the oil are just too much for me--especially with constant close ups of him eating..
10. Gummy stuff. Bears, worms, you name it. Don't you feel like you're eating a fishing lure? Hurl.

What's on your list?

Things I Don't Want to Run Into

1. People who were unkind and rude before they moved away and then come back to town and want to stop by and chat. I escaped this not long ago.
2. Anything I have attempted to cook--it's either burned, tough, rubbery, tasteless or disgusting in any number of other ways.
   
3. Born Agains who talk your ear off about how perfectly holy they are while having zero respect for anyone else on the planet with a different perspective.
4. A roach scurrying across any room in my house like they own the place. It's been a while, but unfortunately it's a fact of life in Florida. It's the only living thing I hate.
5. Alex Trebek. Thank goodness it's not too likely. (Picture me saying that in a French accent.)
6. Anyone who remembers my name when I can't remember theirs. I feel terrible.
7. The 3rd carpeted stair from the top when I'm carrying a cup of coffee. I tripped on it and nearly busted my ass at work a few days ago. Luckily the coffee didn't stain and I didn't die.
8. A clan of Father, Brother and Husband if they return from a fishing excursion with no fish.
9. Anyone who frequently uses the expression "You're a real rock star." It was cute at first, but come on, really?
   
10. Trees that look like this:

Anyone know what kid of tree that is? I photographed it at Marie Selby Botanical Gardens but can't remember what it is. Remembering not to bump up against it would be important.

Buena Vista Inn A Day Keeps the New Smyrna Tourists Away

New Smyrna Beach is a great little town on the east coast of Florida with beautiful beaches and parks, boutique stores and restaurants and a charming downtown area.

But if the town is interested in dismissing visitors with money in their pockets, Tactic 1 would be to send 'em to Buena Vista Inn. I can't recall meeting anyone in the service industry as rude, crude and socially unacceptable as Owner.

My in-laws booked two rooms there during our weekend celebrating Niece's first birthday. After they spent one night, the moldy smell was a little too much. While cancellation policies are understandable to prevent lost income, it would have been the Kosher thing to let them out of the second night, given the reason. 

If it's just not possible to do that, fine. I repeat, that's fine. But the attitude and carrying on copped by the owner were almost comical. Almost.

She smugly lectured us about how many people were pounding down the doors to book a room for the weekend, and how she had to turn them down because all rooms were taken. "You're asking me to take money out of my own pocket so you can put money in your pocket. Do you know what this does to me?"  she went on.

Taking it a step further, as Owner was charging each credit card for the full amount, allowing one person to sign for all, she three times mentioned how much we had "changed her day."

"Well, this just never happens. In the last 11 years I've only had 3 people request a cancellation of their reservation. This has just changed my entire day."

Oh, I'm so sure.

Finally, after hearing it for the third time, I said, "In what way has this changed your day? You're still charging them the same as you would have if they didn't make this request...You're not losing a dime."

Owner: "Well, it must be so nice not to have any stress in your life."
Gropius: "Oh I have plenty of stress in my life. I just choose to deal with it in a different way."
Owner: "Well aren't you special?"

At this point, things went downhill. Names were exchanged. Owner said that she would only share where one member of our party could obtain a nebulizer for her son if "the other girls are controlled and are made not to say things about me all over town since I'm held in such high esteem."

Right.  It would seem that this situation has repeated itself many times. With that, I was pretty sure that blogging would be a well-deserved reward for the behavior.

After getting to my parents' house, we called the inn innocently to ask if rooms were available.  Oh yes, there were three. I checked out Trip Advisor, and we weren't the first to call out Owners for rudeness.

Bottom line: It's her right to be excessively rude and dishonest to customers. And it's my right to share the experience. You never know what's going on in someone's life. I don't know what her life is like behind the attitude. Nor does she know what her customers might have on their shoulders. It's hard to guess about anyone, so being a nice human being usually works out just fine.

Sometimes I Can't Believe I Make It To Work

It's not so much about the alarm clock, or the fact that I've been up 500,000 times to supervise Flanders' urination needs...or her Cone of Shame...

It's that people drive like such asses.

I can't believe I made it to work today.

Several people pulled out in front of me going like 10 miles per hour, ignoring the fact that I was well on my way at nearly 50. Someone else darted across two lanes in front of me so they could make an immediate right hand turn. And some other crazy man took about 32 minutes to pull off the road, almost coming to a complete stop, when he decided to grace a rental center with his presence.

When people in the far left lane slow to the point of nearly going backwards long before merging into a turn lane--now there's another classic. Gotta experience that one at least once per day.

From the landside, I've just about had enough of landscaping people using their blowers to move sand, trash and other crap out of parking lots and sidewalks, only to blow it directly on my car. I'm really over that.

Okay here it is: I'm grateful to have a car. I'm truly thankful I don't have to endure a two hour ride to work on our pitiful public transportation system. And I'm really appreciative that I get there safely every day. 

I just wish people would stop driving like complete dorks. I feel like I put my finger in an electric socket before I even get to work.

I'm Actually Good Without Extra "Help"

When my grandmother went shopping for clothes, she loved to have someone greet her as soon as she walked in, follow her around and make suggestions about outfits and sizes, hang out with her outside of the dressing room while she tried things on, fetch another size, tell her whether the outfit was becoming on her figure, etc.

I like the part where someone greets me when I walk in the door. And that's where it ends.

I don't like it if I have to flag someone down to get help--especially if there is a hoard of employees standing around talking and not paying attention to customers--but if a sales person is on my arse every second I'm in the store, it literally drives me nuts.

Last week I ran into a store to get a few cotton tops for vacation and a sales woman continued to banter me about whether I wanted her to take them into a dressing room for me. The first time, I was like "No thank you." 

The second time (which was 1.5 seconds after I finished my response), I said "I appreciate it, but I'm just going to hold on to them while I look."

The third time she insisted, I said rather sharply, "THANK YOU but I don't know if I AM going to try them on." Of course she didn't stop there. She repeated my response in question formation, "You aren't going to try them on?"

If the shirts weren't exactly what I wanted, I would have replied, "No, and I'm not going to buy them either, thanks to the glory of your annoyingness. Good bye."

But that's a little tape rolling in my head. Our encounter ended there and thankfully, I was able to get out of there untainted by another approach.

I'm glad they didn't press me several times (like they usually do in that store) to open up a credit card. That would have been the last straw.

I wonder if my independent shopping preference is a generational thing or if I'm just weird.

If You Don't Pay Your Taxes...

Frankly, I'm not really sympathetic to those who don't pay their taxes. Whether or not you agree with how much you owe the IRS, it's the law.

I've known a couple of folks who have actually spent time in the courtroom with the IRS about their philosphical differences with taxation and their feelings that required taxes are not constitutional. However, these very people believe that our country should support human service needs and they have personally been the recipient of state-supported programs including the public schools and roads we all depend on to some extent.

Amusing. And kind of sickening to me.

The latest I heard regarding non-taxpaying complainers concerns a number of business owners in Louisiana who operated on a "cash only" basis pre-Gulf Oil Disaster.

I'm probably more disgusted than even most about BP's lack of responsibility in this tragic environmental disaster, but come on, people, if you don't pay your taxes and therefore have no proof of income, how can you expect to be reimbursed for your troubles?

You just can't have it both ways.

"Smells Like the Elderly"

What kind of a moron orders lipstick online from Avon? Me. That's right. The nice "mocha" color which I thought would look like...um mocha...looks like hot pink. It's beautiful, I tell you. Beautiful if you're a freaking mannequin at Old Navy.

So the other thing that really gets me is the Skin So Soft bodywash. How can you go wrong with Skin So Soft, right?  The two bottles I ordered are FIVE ounces each...perhaps enough to get a tiny child through the week--if she skips a bath every other night. The product was marketed as full sized. (And although the miniscule description actually says "5 ounces," you must have a trusty microscope to read the fine print.)

Just as a little insurance policy in case they don't publish my web review of the product, I thought I'd share it with you on Gropius:

An Ant's Head is Bigger Than This Bottle
Date: June 28, 2010

Are you joking? I could go through this entire bottle in a week. Should be marked "sample size." Pretty lousy.

Far better is this Skin So Soft review, straight from the Avon website:

Smells Like the Elderly

Date: January 21, 2010

"Not to disrespect the elderly, but the scent reminds me of pretty much every elderly woman I've ever come into contact with. The gel is great. It moisturizes very well and doesn't leave a residue on my sensitive skin. It didn't break me out, either, which I appreciate. The scent, however, is a strange mix of musk, powder and flowers. Very hard to describe. All I know is it reminded me of my grandmother and I couldn't wait to try this product in a different scent."

If only I could get this person as a regular guest poster on Gropius. What a comedian.

The Crime of Inaction

Driving out to Anna Maria Island on Memorial Day, I saw every pump occupied at the BP station. I hated them for being blind. At the same time I wondered if the station was the pride of a small business owner who doesn’t have any more to do with the oil crisis than I do for purchasing gas. And even with a concerted conscience focused on punishing BP, I had stopped at one of their stations to fill my car up last week and realized it half after I had been standing at the pump for over 4 minutes.
The beach was beautiful. During a fast paced walk I enjoyed seeing the families sitting in the sand, a toddler sloppily carrying a full bucket of water to the tiny castle he was building, the brilliant layers of blue-green meeting the cloudless sky…

The knowledge of the big “it” out there—the spill that keeps coming out beyond what any of us can comprehend every minute, hour and day--was a weight for everyone on the shore.  Instead of carrying that heaviness with me, I said a prayer with every step in the surf. I had to feel that somehow my calling of all the Goodness that is seen and unseen would be heard.

Besides that imminent concern and small answer, this time of year I’m especially alert to the beach nesting birds. They depend on a clean beach, undisturbed dunes and the grace of God to hatch and raise their young. Every year, the number of successful least terns, black skimmer and snowy plovers diminishes. More harm that one can possibly imagine is done by the trash on the beach attracting predators, the quick footed tourists and locals who can’t be bothered to look where they step, and unknowing children who chase the energy strained adults mustering everything to feed their chicks.

I loved watching a skimmer dip in the shallow waves, following them in a line down the beach with a grace and precision hard to believe. Another one came. And another. On my walk back, I watched a young man with his girlfriend coming in the opposite direction. I misjudged him as one who couldn’t care less about a bird, but then I saw him turn. Stop. Watch the skimmer with a look of fascination. It made me smile and feel hopeful.

Approaching the entrance to the beach I used, it was impossible not to see a large area where a group had left over 30 bottles, cans, wrappers and used bottle of sunscreen. I felt sick. In the midst of the largest environmental disaster to ever face our country, here was a deliberate act of laziness and disregard for everything. Everything!

Even on Memorial Day? Our veterans sure as hell didn’t make their sacrifices so that Americans could treat our own country like a pig sty. Sick and angry, I collected as many pieces of trash as I could and went to the garbage bin. A couple settling down to sit in their chairs remarked about how angry it made them, yet when I returned with a bag from my car, they hadn’t lifted a finger.

I collected everything, putting the sandy refuse in a Whole Foods bag made from recycled bottles. I was pissed. I know from years of experience that some people will always litter. They’ll always have shameful behavior without being ashamed.

But what I wasn’t prepared for were countless groups of couples and families on the beach who would stay right where they were, watching. Just watching. It didn't occur to them to clean it up before, and seeing someone picking up the mess, it still didn't occur to them.

As they hear news of the oil spill at night, do they shake their heads with sadness, change the channel, or pray for the sportscast to come?

Do you know people who roll over on their beach blankets and look the other way. What is in their conscience? What's the difference between their inaction and the inaction of those who left the trash to begin with? I'm not sure there is a difference.

When Blogging Is Dangerous

I drove home today, got in the door, put my stuff down and all I could think of doing was cleaning obsessively. It helped to restore some sense of order I guess. 

I have more in my life to be grateful for than 99% of the world's population, I have good health and a good family. What's left to be upset about and how dare I go there? I'm not a pity party girl.

But I've been chewing on some things for quite a while now. I've been patient. And I've continued to do what I think is right and just.

A culmination of unresolved crap, with new crap piled on top has me spinning. Really, it all boils down to integrity and the lack of it in people who should have it. We should all have integrity, but certain people in certain positions are expected to have it more than others.

I'm not one to consider myself a victim--I'm pretty bold and don't have a problem stating my convictions.
But I've been taken advantage of and misled in several instances lately, and it's the trust I've had in people that has left me exposed. Was there reason not to trust them? No. Have they been called on their bluffs? Kind of. The consequence? Nothing for them. For me, lots of frustration and an overwhelming sense of injustice. I've upheld my part of the bargain. I've already done what's been asked of me.

I have a "Don't forget your sense of humor" mantra around me, but there isn't a funny side.There's nothing to laugh at.

Look, I know it will all work out. I'm one of those firm believers in "everything happens for a reason."
I'm just less than thrilled with how it's all working out at this moment.

And although this blog is my own, it can be dangerous at a time like this. Oh what I would love to say! But we all have our peeking readers, waiting to expose us. They would crack me up if I wasn't so agitated. When there's work and responsibility, you can't always afford to put your words in writing just as you'd like them.

Glad I can sound off, even if partially.  Husband's been a great listener and advocate. I've had other advocates too. And I'm so grateful for them. They rock. Now that I've gotten a bit of it out, we can chill out and watch the idiot box for a while. The Office is on tonight. Always puts me in a funny space.

A Big List of OTHER Things I Could Have Done With $1,000

$941.00 to be exact. Tell me, is it reasonable to pay that much for maintenance on a Honda that's only 3 years old with 50,000 miles? After you've just paid $350 less than 2 months ago for a scheduled service that was mainly supposed to include a thorough check-up on everything?

I went in yesterday to settle a troubling noise coming from the back tire area. In addition to learning that some thing called a rear upper controlled arm had come unscrewed, off track or whatever (I'm really smart about cars, as you can see), I learned that "oh by the way, you need a new battery, new front brakes, new tires (which I've already replaced once), new wipers, etc. etc.

So instead of bitching about it, which is soooo boring to read, let me take a moment to thank Honda.

Honda, thank you so much. I've really been dying to spend $1,000, and I can't think of any way I'd like to drop it more than right there with you.

But if you weren't so thoughtful to take away the choice for me, which made my life a heck of a lot easier, I'd like to list a few other things that I could have dumped it on:

1. Toping the list off would of course be any number of weekend trips. I'll put Arizona first, where dearest friend just relocated. I could totally get in to the desert. The enormity and beauty of the Grand Canyon is impressive. Like a rusty sunset. Aging over tens of thousands of years never looked so good on anyone.
2. I could soooo spend $1,000 on a single donation to any number of nonprofits that I haven't supported in the past but would like to. It's impressive how far our local organizations can make any financial contribution go--they use it to accomplish missions that serve chidren, places, wildlife so dear to us.
3. A new native plant garden for the yard. We don't use pesticides or fertilizers in our yard--they're very bad news for the health of the bay here in Sarsasota/ Bradenton. We also have some great native plants that attract birdies and wildlife. Once established, they require very little care, water or other resources. I'd love to grow that garden more than what we do a couple hundred dollars at a time every now and then.
4. Advanced camera.
5. Season tickets to the Rays for the fam.
6. New oil paint and water color supplies.
7. Any choice of about 10,000 home improvement projects.

I'll spare you the long list of additional choices.  With so many decisions to make, I'm so grateful Honda chipped in to make it all work out.

What would you do with $1,000 outside of your standard budget to randomly spend on anything?

A Big Freaking Annoying Inconvenience Thanks to Office Depot

Every once in a while, I appreciate the opportunity to complain. To much of it is bad news. But I'm annoyed and it's all because of Office Depot. And after all, what a great release writing is.

Yesterday:
Place an Office Depot order for materials I HAD to have this morning to complete a project on time.

Today:
1:15 p.m. Order hasn't arrived.
2:38 p.m. Order hasn't arrived.
3:31 p.m. Where the heck...?
4:14: p.m. I can't freaking believe it's still not here.
4:46 p.m. There are 14 minutes left until 5 pm.
5:00 p.m. Could it still come?
5:10 p.m. I'm a believer. Faith. I have faith.

Our receptionist had sent 3 e-mails and called.
I tweeted about it.

5:26 p.m. I call customer service. After going through the whole thing, I am disconnected.

5:32 p.m. Call back, ask for a manager. Which I never get. So tell me again why you didn't give me a manager? Is it because it's after 5:00 p.m.?  Well I'm here after 5:00 p.m. because you didn't deliver the stuff. (And this was the first night in a while I was actually going to leave on time.)

So after cancelling the order, I stop at Office Max to pick up everything that obviously may or may not ever be delivered by Office Depot and to get equipped for a fun night of work that I was supposed to do today. Here's what happens:

The SECOND I walk in "Hello, ma'am, how are you today? What can I help you find?"
He takes me right to what I need.
On the way up to the register not one but TWO representatives offer to help me carry the stuff.
The cashier offers to help me carry it out to the car.

Office Max, you're my hero. Office Depot, you're so dead to me.

And world, I know there are much bigger problems than whether an order was delivered on time. But just entertain my aggravation for one small moment.  And then let's move on to happy things...

Don't you hate it when a company doesn't fulfill its end of the bargain and it affects your productivity or your work?

Totally Random Thoughts from the Week

A phenomenal speaker I heard this week mentioned that 80-90% of all of the gazillion thoughts to go through our heads each day are negative. Yikes. Is this true for me? I think not!
Here’s a totally random sampling of this week’s fleeting Gropius thoughts:

• Did the holidays ever happen? Oh yes they did. It was like 17 years ago.
• I lied. Oh my gosh I lied. I knew I wouldn’t do the dishes tonight.
• She does not deserve this. Please, Universe, toss her a bone at least. Her parents need help now, and she’s done everything she can.
• For the first time ever, I’m sick of pizza. This will change in 3 days.
• I need a good movie.
• There are exactly 187 days until our summer vacation. 7 months sounds better. Or does it?
• That was the best damn veggie spring roll I’ve had. I loved my Thursday night Thai dinner with Husband. Glad we can eat out. Some people don’t know where their next meal is coming from. Does this make me wasteful?
• That was rude, crude and socially unacceptable. (It was my 11th grade art teacher’s favorite saying when people were unnecessarily obnoxious and nasty. Along with “Don’t be an art chicken,” that was his mantra.)
• I love this lady’s speech! It’s so positive, so inspiring, so making me want to really jump up and down. [10 minutes later: Will this day ever come to an end?]
• Note to self: when I say “yes” to too many pro bono project invites for the future, when the future arrives I deserve the mess in my head.
• I am so SICK of people’s pettiness. Go back to third grade and tell the teacher.
• One day the lame porkie poopers who sit at home and post their nasty comments to online news articles about positive work in the community will self-destruct. Who ARE these people anyway?
• I need to exercise. What the hell would it take to get me in my tennies and out the door for a good 2 miles? Never mind. I am so freaking tired. I’ve burned up enough energy today worrying and trying to keep 8,986 projects in order.
• I feel better knowing there are a lot of good people in the world who genuinely care about what happens far away from them and what’s happening in their own backyard. I wonder…are there more who care than don’t?

Dear God, is it true? Do I really have too many negative thoughts? I don’t think so. I have lots of hope, I like my job, I’m grateful for what I have and just to be alive, I feel lucky to have good family and friends, I feel pretty good about my diverse set of hobbies and interests, and finally, I have faith in goodness and a higher power.

Note to self: Must invest in some positive thinking tapes. I own my thoughts. I don’t want a lot of the ones above. Focus more on the present, enjoy each day and moment, forget about the dorky complainers, and cut out the guilt. Adding that to my project list...

Contradictions, Dumb Deals and Vomitaciousness

Today I received an e-mail from CVS with this subject line: Receive a $5 off $30 coupon for taking our Medicare Part D quiz. Now, does this mean that if I take the quiz I'll receive a $25 coupon? Not sure. But it's almost as savvy as the "take 10% off" sign by rediculously priced sweaters for sale in Florida stores. I had a vomitacious reaction when I realized that down here, sweaters, thick socks and knit hats all hit the shelves the second it hits 75 degrees.

Now, for all of you English teachers out there (yes, Mitzi, I'm referring to you), "vomitacious" is not technically a word, but you can find it in various urban dictionaries. I believe it's my new favorite non-word, and at the rate we're going, it will one day make its way to Webster's. (Someone informed me that because "irregardless" was so overly misused, it was added to the dictionary. Now THAT is vomitacious.)

So back to a few other vomitacious things today, changing the subject from clothes to life in general, I'm a little perturbed at pettiness. I'm noticing a pattern where people get far too consumed with panties in wads over tiny things while they don't take control of larger issues in their life and work. I'm not saying that I am immune to this; hell, I'm open to having it pointed out to me in my own ramblings if you feel up to it.

Bascially, I just want to know we're all doing our fair share to open up confrontations when and where they're necessary and just deal with the rest. Otherwise, we're wasting energy that's much better used on pleasantness and happy things. Are you with me on this?

Now to completely contradict this proclamation and wish, I will share that the vomitaciousness on the road has been quite scary. Today I was almost nailed head on by someone going 987 miles per hour. The person in front of me decided to stop suddenly. As I tried to go around him (after patiently waiting a few moments), he decided to reverse hastily and back into a driveway, leaving me hanging out in the other lane. And at this point, speeding driver in opposite direction had absolutely no angel callings to slow down. Pissant. Moments later, another sweet crazy person did a 3 point turn in the middle of a 4 way stop...but couldn't wait until I had passed. She actually made the 3 point turn, stopped herself at the stop sign and then went before me.

Now, aren't you glad you've listened to my petty, hypocritical vomitacious rantings? Please, share at least one vomitacious thing from your week before you leave.

Since Yesterday...And Thank You, Morons at US Airways

I know it's not nice to say mean things, especially on Thanksgiving. But here it is: I'm stranded in Greenville, NC since US Airways cancelled my connecting flight to Charlotte. I can't hold them accountable for fog, but I can hold them accountable for employing morons who can't figure out how to deal with it later. Sometimes, people, you just have to get creative. That does not include solving the problem by shipping me home tomorrow.  AND, it wouldn't be the first time US Air left me stranded on the Thanksgiving holiday. So I'm thinking, "Jesus, Gropius, don't you ever learn?"

Since yesterday, the fam's bitchy and neurotic Springer Spaniel bit me, I spent plenty of time hiding in the back bedroom from visitors I didn't know, and I learned that it's possible to gain 5 pounds in 24 hours. There's a lot of junk food around here: cheese straws, lemon pound cake, and pecans cooked in an entire stick of butter (yes, my idea). 

On a more positive note, we've been digging up some amazing pictures--pictures that make me wonder how any of us were ever that young and good looking. ...Or ever consented to certain hairstyles. Digital cameras have not been good for the kind of albums you like to thumb through on the couch, triggering the recesses of memories that were put on the back burner for a while. It's really special to get connected with honest to God pictures you can hold in your hand. 

I'm sure that's what US Air had in mind when they did me the favor of screwing up again.

Enjoy your holiday! And know I'm thankful for readers, even when you don't leave a comment. :)

Reader Poll: This Is What Annoys You

And, drumroll please...here are your annoying Facebook responses--annoying as in this is what irks you.

• Watching folks who litter look on as their garbage hits the ground. I wonder what they're thinking as they watch themselves be lazy and selfish. "I'm so proud I lack compassion and respect."
  
• A message I just got from match.com: "just wanted to say hi! working half a day then off to the beach! if i see a naked girl on the beach i'll just assume it you! ;) lol have a great day!... ...steve"
  
• The little box that pops up and asks you if you mind leaving a secure setting. If you say NO, you can't move forward. You have to say yes. Why ask? And what setting is really secure anyway?
  
• I hate the SEND ERROR REPORT!! Where does it go anyway?
  
• When co-workers think that the newspaper a department subscribes to is fair game for themselves. Especially when someone takes it to the restroom and then has the nerve to return it!
  
• National Geographic channel now being self-referred to as “NatGeo.” That’s stupid. I took me forever to figure out what that meant. Wait…am I stupid?
  
• Being told you will get a raise and a new position if you do a bunch of extra work. You do it for a year and are then told that the conversation never took place. By the way, “Keep up the great work!” Wait…that’s not just annoying—it’s unethical! Time to look for a new job!
  
• When you try to help your child do math, but the schools no longer teach it the way that you learned, to your kid AND you end up confused...grrrrrr!
  
• The same people who tailgate you when they are going 70 mph leave two car lengths when they come to a stop so you can’t make the left turn lane when the light is green.
  
• People who are supposed to know something about what they’re in charge of but seem to know nothing about it and ask you questions as though they never heard of it at all and can't imagine what it's all about. Don't get me started!

And there you have it. Feel free to add yours to the list.

The Anal Concert-Goer

Yes, that's me. It's me if you include getting highly agitated at people who are rude at shows.

People who must ask you to get up 54 times within a 2 hour period so they can squeeze their largess past you to get another beer, a tray of french fries or whatever it is that they "need" are super unnecessary. For the love of God, did you not KNOW we would be here for 120 minutes to enjoy a show? What the hell would you do if you had to survive in the woods or a road trip or a meeting without provisions for a few hours? I'll tell you what would happen. You would die.

So when this same group tries to return to their seats and cannot find them because they are so drunk they can barely recognize what country they're in, you know what happens. They stand in the aisle staring at you. And you can read their dumbfounded expressions for the duration: "Do I know this chick? Did I squeeze my largess past her on my way for another Michelob?" You guessed it. That ticks me off too. Because I can't see the stage, you jerks!

And ahh, here's another one. The guy behind me that is discussing an important matter on his cell phone during one of the most riveting songs of the evening. Yes, it's true. He was the same putz who decided to open up his big mouth between the songs, because evidently, nothing being said outside of the tunes he recognized was anything of consequence to him. Oh sweet Jesus, was I ready to display my dark and evil side.

People don't do this kind of crap during a Symphony performance, right? They have enough respect for the artists and the crowd to stay put. Don't get me wrong--I love the crazed cheering, singing along and excitement at a stadium show. But all that other stuff, people? There's a roller derby game with your name on it somewhere.

Let's Not Kid Ourselves. It's Easy to Bitch. Now How About a Solution?

It's easy to talk. It takes guts and smarts to find workable solutions.

I am soooo tired of people on Facebook, in meetings, in conversations online and in person who are renegades for peace or progress but who never have a proposal to solve the issues they rage about so passionately. Often, their debate is not even peaceful but wrought with anger toward their dissenters...usually after they have opened the floor for what they insist will be a meaningful and fair conversation/debate. But meaningful for who? Are they not just looking for someone with whom to spout off?

Interestingly, whether I agree with the person's point of view or not, I feel the same about it: "It's a great way to turn me off, sweetie, and see that wall over there--you might as well be talking to it. Now, if only that wall had a mirror so you could admire yourself while you present your monologue."

I don't argue that there are many tough conundrums out there plaguing our local and national community. We need conversation. We need awareness raising. But at some point, the crusader and his cause get tuned out if there isn't a suggestion offered to overcome the plight.

And how often have you noticed that these folks are the first to shoot down people who offer baby steps in the right direction? It's usually all or nothing in their eyes. Another great way to estrange people.

So now that Gropius has put it all out there for you, here's my solution: remember we're all people here. When you disagree, do it humanely and you may just find that others are willing to listen. Otherwise, I hear a loud internal buzz when you start talking that masks the words you happen to be speaking in my face.

Inviting all dissenters to comment...

Five Disturbing Trends

1. The web cam. So I have this web cam, right? It’s always off, since it’s reserved for connecting with my brother & his new little family once the baby is born. Although sometimes, there’s this faint red light on it and I swear I didn’t turn it on. Who’s watching me?
   
2. Ketchup. No matter how many times I shake the damn ketchup bottle, that nasty watery stuff still comes out.
   
3. The Rays. I misplaced my supreme gusto for the Rays when they really started losing…like 13 games in a row and then some. I swore I wasn’t a fair weather fan. I still love them, really. Everyone has their down time, boys. But I’m being brutally honest. Am I terrible?
   
4. AFH. Each time I stoop to the level of watching Americas Funniest Home videos (which isn’t often), I find it crazy how many incredibly idiotic entries were actually filmed over 5 years ago…as if the families have been fighting for half a decade to get them exposed among other idiotic videos.
   
5. Annoyed Interrupters. Today someone interrupted something I had scheduled with other members of my team and acted like I was the annoying one for quietly and patiently pausing, waiting for them to leave. This keeps happening. Om, people, I really think you are important, but can’t you respect my time too?

So what disturbing trends do you have to add? I know there's something irking you.

The Best of Healthy Intentions

Husband just admitted he was glad when the blueberries fell out of the fridge and scattered all over the floor. It sucks when you spend hard earned money on a good healthy intention--beautiful, anti-oxidant bearing fruits--and they turn out to be bitter. But so good when the lame refrigerator takes care of things before your consciousness cries waste.

Very interesting now that I think about it. My Annie's Goddess dressing always seems to take a spill too. And Husband calls it the "Stinking Egg Dressing." Wonder if that might not be an accident...

So here's the problem: every time we go to the store, we pull one of these lines: "We need to eat healthier. We're going to buy 10, 018 pounds of romaine lettuce, plenty of dressing to jazz up that roughage and enough fresh vegetables to feed Toronto (as long as they're eaten in the next 3 days before they rot)." Then we come home and order a pizza for dinner. And a week later we're cleaning out the "remains of the day."

I feel like an absolute loser for admitting this. Being extra conscious about not wasting and being a good, healthy vegetarian are forefront in my mind. It's seriously bad that we allow this to repeat itself so often. And it's not an excuse, but we're just so beat at the end of the day. Who feels like cooking? Especially when you're a complete kitchen spazz like me and you don't have the slightest interest in cooking or learning to cook.

Lettuce, you say? Oh yeah, all you have to do is wash it. I know, that makes this situation ultra lame.

A Little Beach Etiquette

I love visiting a funny but sooo on the money blog about etiquette every now and then. The blogger is in the heartland, and so I thought I would supplement with a little beach etiquette for you folks, coming straight from an experience today and ones earlier this summer.

(If you're in Florida, you know that good beach weather doesn't exactly end on Labor Day--you've got 3 more months to enjoy 80 degrees before it chills down to 70 for a few weeks.)

Here's what is totally NOT cool on the beach...

1. Pulling your obnoxious boat so close to the beach that you nearly run over 3 swimming children, then turning your music up so loud that you're probably disturbing the same whales affected by the Navy's sonar.
   
2. Okay, let me back up. ANY music on the beach is pretty annoying if others can hear it. I know you may debate me on this point, but what if I don't like your crappy tunes? Soooo inconsiderate.
   
3. Taking your drinks in the water and burying the cans in the sand instead of throwing them away. "Um, I can't BELIEVE you just did that," was my exact thought. When we saw this happen, Husband went in the water, retrieved them through some careful toe-sand connections and heaved them back on the beach blanket belonging to the offender. Can't believe we didn't get killed, but we did head for the car in a few mins.
   
4. Heaving yourself on passing manatees like they are floatation devices. Yes, we have actually seen entire crowds of people doing this. It's not only not anti-beach etiquette, but it's against the freaking law!!! Stay off our threatened and endangered wildlife people. If manatees had teeth, they would kick the daylights out of any Hollywood produced Jaws scene.

I feel like good manners are common sense. If you're doing something that is disturbing others or causing harm, for the love of Pete, STOP IT.