Waiting for Superman: Failed Public Education in America

It's pretty easy to be a teacher. To be a good teacher, it's really, really hard.

The responsibility of educating the next generation is difficult enough, period. On top of that, teachers have the realities of unacceptable behavior in the classroom, home situations that are less than encouraging of a learning focus, and state testing requirements that have proven to be meaningless roadblocks to the kind of teaching that changes lives for the better.

It's no secret that our education system in America is failing our students. And it's no secret that the problem is extraordinarily complex.

In my community, there are some amazing teachers that are doing their best to succeed (and are succeeding), despite all the odds of the system in which they're forced to operate.

I can also say from experience, that there are some very lousy teachers who are holding onto their years at school doing absolutely nothing to help lives of our kids because they're tenured. They're just sucking up a paycheck and my son's life while they're waiting for retirement. This shouldn't be allowed to happen.

I would highly recommend a trip to the movies this week to see Waiting for Superman, a documentary about the public education system in America.  It was fair in its attack of both failed liberal and conservative attempts to fix education in America. It was hopeful in its coverage of some systems that are working, created by forward-thinking education reformers. And it was bold in its questioning of why the heck we're sitting around playing with a lottery system for students who can fill the very few spaces in decent charter schools.

The film challenges the long-standing belief of many that bad neighborhoods are why "drop out factories" (low-achieving schools) are prevalent and suggests that research points the other way around:  over time, these failing schools have contributed largely to the decline of the neighborhoods around them.

I know it's controversial, but the National Teachers' Union was challenged severely in the film as being a body that treats all teachers as one instead of distinguishing between the high-performing teachers and those who continually fail our students.

I loved the film. I did have two criticisms: one fair and one maybe not so much. The 5 students chronicled as part of the film all had strong parent-advocates. So the notion that not all parents are strong participants in their child's education didn't enter in the picture at all. That wasn't fair. When a teacher is struggling because parents at home could care less, that obviously plays a huge factor. It has to be a partnership. And many parents don't fulfill their part of the bargain.

The other criticism--and yes, there's only so much you can do in 2 hours--is that the issue was oversimplified. Severe lack of funding, the proliferation of non-English speaking students in schools (which isn't a judgment, it's a fact), and societal changes are huge strains on the education system. To fully understand what's going on, you have to take those things into account.

It's so complicated, but if we want to remain the America we think we are, we better do something about public education, and fast. Go see Waiting for Superman.

Becoming My Grandmother

I'll never forget the fateful trip to Greenville, North Carolina for my parents' high school reunion.

I was in elementary school, probably in 6th grade, and that would have placed my brother in 3rd grade. I had been dying to see Dirty Dancing of course. With my parents gone for the evening, it was the perfect opportunity for Grandmother to take us to the movies. The two hours we would spend together with Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey would form the basis for a lifetime of hilarity.

Not believing the "dirty" dancing scenes of Dirty Dancing proved to be the tip of the proverbial iceberg. After that, there were other things to worry about, like sex. The line my grandmother uttered loud enough for everyone in three rows to hear has lived on in stories ever since...

(Say in deep Southern accent) "If there is one more suggestive scene, we are leaving this theater!"

I remember silence on the way home. The next day was filled just as much with talk of who was fat, who never married, etc. as it was filled with Grandmother uttering her disbelief at the inappropriateness of Dirty Dancing. Grandmother wasn't the type to keep bringing something up, but you could tell it continued to bother her.

Fast forward 23 years, and I am becoming my Grandmother.

I literally cannot believe the crap in movies "these days." (Ah yes, another Grandmother phrase.) And it's nothing that enhances the plot. The rampant violence, sex, disgusting language (not used a few times for emphasis, but in literally every other line) are unbearable.  Most of it is senseless--there's literally no reason for it.

We took the D-Man (now 14) with us to see a PG-13 film recently, and among other things I would have chosen not to expose D-Man to, I counted at least 5 references to oral sex in the language. Everyone laughed, and while that may be okay for adult humor, is that something you want to hear your 14 year old laughing at?! I was completely embarrassed and in the spirit of Grandmother almost stood up and shouted, "If there is one more reference to oral sex, we are leaving this theatre!"

I felt like a terrible parent for not checking out the movie more thoroughly before going.  It's not that I'm living in a freaking box. But I am ultra-sensitive to the fact that what is portrayed on television and in movies is perceived as "the norm" and "acceptable" by young audiences. That's how behavior is modeled, and of course, it's what's cool.

He needs to know all about sex, drugs, alcohol, and to a greater extent, he'll be making decisions about those things on a regular basis. But seeing them treated so irreverently in movies doesn't contribute to the cause.

D-Man wants to go to a PG-13 movie with his friend today, and of course I'm thinking "Today's PG-13 is like way beyond what would have been in the last decade's rated R. What the heck is in this film?" 

I just found a website called Parent Previews, and although I'm not interested in someone else's judgement on what's appropriate and what's not, each movie review lists explicit details about each occurrence of violence, sex, reference to sex and language. I love it because it gives me the chance to make the call--not who is rating movies.

If you have a teen or tween at home, it's a great resource. Even if you want to see if you should waste your money on a movie full of crap just for the heck of it (not because it's part of a compelling story), you should check it out too. http://www.parentpreviews.com/

Sadly, I may have never seen Dirty Dancing if Al Gore was quicker to invent the Internet and spread it around virally back in the late '80's. Grandmother would be writing those reviews herself. I'd hate to see her face if she saw what our middle school audiences were exposed to now.

The Horror in Your Head

I can't consume print or television media with too much infusion of blood and guts.

For one, there are pretty terrible things actually happening in the world. I find it interesting that so much of our population is entertained by fictional shooting, hacking and violence.  Aside from that, I have trouble getting strong visuals out of my thoughts.

Husband can watch a gorey film or documentary and get it out of sight and mind fairly quickly, or so he says. I still think it processes in his subconscious and lingers as all things really do in the human brain.

Despite how well you might process a story filled with the most terrifying of circumstances--however fictional--it's a little unsettling to know that somewhere a living man or woman contrived the story and its details. How does Stephen King sleep with himself on any given night?  What on this green earth is living in his head to weave this stuff together?

[Shudder from Gropius.]

Every now and then, I have a horrible dream of the most colorful and detailed plot and imagery. Where did it come from? Is it a remnant from something I watched in a film? Just a creative manifestation of something I'm trying to work out subconciously? I always wake up from these dreams feeling more frightened that my mind was capable of coming up with such a thing than I was of the dream itself.

There's a dark side to human nature, no doubt. I don't know where it comes from.

Speaking just for myself, I know I'm best off trying to keep good company, seek good in circumstances and minimizing exposure to unnecessary violence-- even if it's coming from an indirect experience of media. It's not always possible, but that's the goal.

I Wish I Was Big

"Big" was a classic movie in ways. It really made you think...do I really want to be at a different stage of life? And laugh. Whether you watched it as a young larvae, wanting to be a grown-up, or if you were reflecting back on your youth, it was fabulous. ...And makes you realize that sometimes rushing things just isn't "all that"...nor is wishing you were once again a middle school pimply kid emerging into your first taste of self.

I've discovered, by the way, that wishing for a later stage in life--one in which you have more free time (are retired), or don't have periods anymore, etc.-- can continue until you're in the grave, wishing you didn't wish your life away.




I'm so guilty of wishing the week would more quickly pass, yielding the two day weekend. If I keep this up, I'm missing out on a hell of a lot of good time.

P.S. Tom Hanks, though he has been totally overexposed, has incredible talent. Agree?

Do Yourself A Favor And Visit GoFugYourself

Most of the time, I don't even know who these snarky girls are tearing down, but regardless, they're funny as hell. And after the Oscars, I afford myself the luxury of taking more than a cursury glance at their incredibly hilarious website, GoFugYourself.  Yes, one day it's my goal to launch a similar blog here in Sarasota/Bradenton to fug all of the outfits worn to our overfilled charity ball calendar. I will make no friends doing it, but it would be a riot.

I hate to admit it, but I could spend a LOT of time on this site. Here's my favorite fug from their overactive Oscar Fugging:

"I'd have been curious to see where that bodice was going. Unfortunately, on the way there, it got hijacked by an Amelia Earhart fetishist, and then left to die in a cheap science-fair volcano that erupts plastic leis."

(Photo and copy from GoFugYourself.)

Now is that damn good writing or what? That was sooo much better than I could have done. I thought the dress looked like the haphazard melting of a Snoopy Snowcone.

If you did happen to watch the Oscars last night, maybe you're like me: that is, you got incredibly depressed when they did the John Hughes commemoration, displaying very scary versions of Anthony Michael Hall, Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy and the rest of the clan on the stage. This accomplished two things: a.) Making me feel 10 days older than water and b.) Making me really glad I do not and never have abused drugs.

Did you have a favorite Oscar moment? Or do you hate them like Husband does?

Personally, I haven't seen half the films that were nominated but feel a secret pleasure that James Cameron didn't win. Honestly, I had enough of his giant ego-head when the Titanic was around. That ship has sailed.

Movie Review: When in Rome

D-Man was invited to a birthday camping trip this weekend, providing Husband and I with a rare day to ourselves. After arriving a little too late to our preferred flick—one in which we would be forced to stare up nostrils all night from the front two rows—we decided to take our chances on When In Rome.

We knew we were doomed when we entered a theatre full of teeny boppers. Husband quickly received group laughter from the last row when he fell into his seat. And before the film began, we would periodically hear the outbursts of obnoxious snickering from various corners of the room. Aahhh, to be that age again when literally everything others do is hilarious. Although I confess to similar theater antics as a teen, even at that time in my life I thought to myself, “Damn, we are annoying. I would hate us if I weren’t us.”

One of the best parts of the movie came right at the beginning. Kristin Bell’s character turns to her ex (who’s showed up unexpectedly at an event she coordinated) and has a huge piece of salad wedged between a tooth. I found particular enjoyment from this in relationship to my own “spinach spot.” Husband always asks me if “I’m storing something for later.” If it isn’t for that freaking one tooth space….agh! I can always count on it.

You may want to see this film if...

a.) You have a teenage daughter you’d like to spend some QT with.

b.) You’re in the mood for something to take you on a 2 hour trip away from life as you know it but aren’t looking for anything deep—it is cute and decent (hey, nothing wrong with that)

c.) You’d like to laugh at something you’ve already seen on television previews 53 times.

It’s really not a bad movie, but I wouldn’t expect any Sundance awards coming this way.

Here’s a clip that is fairly representative of what you’ll see in When In Rome…and it also happens to show the sister, who my goodness, looks like a 14 year old. Husband and I were totally grossed out at a nearly naked apron scene where she really looked like a child-bride. Yeew.



Are we right? What's UP with that choice?

80's Movie Challenge

I thought just for kicks I’d issue an 80’s movie challenge. The first person to correctly identify the movies quoted below will get to name the title of Gropius’ next blog post.

It’s a small reward, but could prove to be very funny indeed. You can make it absolutely crazy, bizarre or contrary to Gropius’ likes, but the only requirement: it can’t be anything slanderous, racially biased or politically charged. Even if you don’t know all 4, comment on what you do know & throw in your favorite 80’s movie quote.

Movie 1.
“No more rhymes now I mean it!"
“Anybody want a peanut?”

Movie 2.
“I like the dark. I love the dark. But I hate nature, I hate nature!”

Movie 3.
“Did lard ass have to pay to enter the pie eating contest?”

Movie 4.
“Diane Cort is a show pony. What you need is a stallion.”

Let’s see what you’ve got.

Halloween Memories

This kicks off an entire month of blogging every day: NaBloPoMo. It's my first year of participating. (Check out Uncommon Blonde & Pines Lakes Redhead too!) I'm hoping things don't degenerate from here as I'm forced to reflect on the daily minutia. But what better way to start than with a few Halloween memories, including my musings from trick-or-treating days and last night's mannerless kids.

Husband and I stayed in last night to pass out candy and watch scary movies. Once again I arrive at the same realization: I cannot watch horror flicks without lingering visualizations of blood and gore. I just can't do it. (So thank you, The Haunting in Connecticut and Halloween. I will have nightmares for the rest of the year.)

Our young visitors fit the trending generalization we hear of with today's kids wanting something for nothing. They don't even say "trick-or-treat" anymore, for God's sake. That's all you're supposed to do to get a freaking handout. What's that all about?

According to my mother on the other coast, she was told by several kids and (a mom who was collecting for a kid who couldn't muster the strength to get out of the car) that they "didn't like that kind." Shut UP. They didn't. Really.

I remember being extremely satisfied with any Halloween house visit as long as it didn't include a piece of fruit, a mini toothbrush, a quarter or those skanky Mary Janes. Admittedly, I was never a fan of candy corn either. But of course I never DREAMED of turning something down or not saying thank you!

After filtering through D-Man's 2,877 pound pillowcase full of candy last night, it hit me how totally ungrateful our culture is over here. I feel like my elders when I pull out the "starving kids in Africa" lines, but seriously. How disgusting is it that kids complain about not getting the type of CANDY they want from a complete stranger? Do they realize all we have to be grateful for?

I swear the next month of daily posts will be more upbeat, positive and not so rant-like. Thanks for letting me get my Halloween party pooper out.

How 'bout another day? Thank you, Breakfast Club, for the prep.

Remember that scene from the Breakfast Club, where Bender continued to commit himself to extra Saturdays in detention, all because he kept adding the last word? If you need a little refreshing, you'll find it in the last few moments of the clip below (skip ahead to the 3:30 point, or while you're looking, enjoy the entire piece for great memories of these poor incarcerated rebels).

Why am I sharing? The scene played itself out once again in our house this morning. It's so easy to get worked up, isn't it? Sometimes you just want to win the tween-parent argument.

Me: "Please just do what your father said. And please don't cop an attitude, or you'll be grounded. I'm tired of the attitude."

Tweenager: "But! This is STUPID. I don't want to do it."

Me: "Okay, so you're grounded this afternoon."

Tweenager: "Lkjoiuaseroncoisueroijsen!" (or a similar crazy mumbling)

Me: "So now you'll be grounded tomorrow afternoon too."

Tweenager: "I didn't DO ANYTHING. Ghhhaaaaad."

Me: "Om. Do you want to add on another day?"

Quite Possibly the Best Movie of ALL Time

Last night was Movie Night at work. A few weeks ago, we posted a blank paper on the break room fridge and everyone had a chance to suggest the movie they'd like to see. We then voted on SurveyMonkey. The loser ran off alone, and the winner followed those footprints toward Gilder...

That's right: The Princess Bride. Who would argue that it's the best movie of all time? Maybe you. If so, I want your fave.

Fencing, fighting, torture, giants, escapes, true love, miracles...what more could you ask for? (Doesn't sound too bad? You'll try and stay awake?) If you haven't watched this Rob Reiner classic in a while, it's time. It's a real feel-gooder that will make you believe in love again and awaken your senses to hilariousness.

Next up on October 1st Movie Night: Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.