A Big, Giant Thank You & A $20 Donation to Your Nonprofit

You have been the biggest, baddest troopers and I thank you for that. I love it that you--a thoughtful, witty reader--come to Gropius and visit me here. And with everything going on in your life, I'm even more grateful for your time and your comments.

For whatever reason, I decided to take up the NaPoBloMo challenge of blogging everyday in April on the "Big" prompt. The fact that anyone is still reading Gropius at this point is amazing.  And so, on the 30th day of the month, here's a promise:

I, Gropius, solomnly swear to never ever EVER use the word "big" again.

I thank you for putting up with the boring posts, the fat stretches made to keep within the theme, and the irritated rants about puppy mills and sign defying boaters.  You took the time to give me your well-considered perspectives on photos; tough decisions; commercials, movies and singers I like that you thought sucked; and anything I could cram into another day of survival.

I appreciate you in a big way. Oops...

Really, you guys rock.

Using a random number generator, I'm giving a $20 donation to the nonprofit of one commenter's choice. Just leave a comment including the nonprofit you choose, why you're passionate about its mission and the website of the nonprofit. I'll let you know who the winner is on Monday.
Enjoy your weekend and thanks for reading Gropius.

Big Blooms

Ah yes, I know. You're sick of my flower photos. As Husband will say after a trip, "Great. More pictures of leaves and stuff."

But I thought the blooming hibiscuses were just too lovely not to post.

Big Surprise: Thanks for Listening, Honda

Thanks to all those who commiserated with my pain over a $1,000 bill at Honda recently.

I answered a standard follow up e-mail from the Honda service department about my dissatisfaction paying so much for a bizarre replacement--the now famous rear upper control arm.

Wish I had time to create a logo for the rear upper control arm...I'm picturing something that looks like a behind with an Rosie the Riveter arm coming out of it.

Anyway, I'd be a bad girl if I didn't share with you a big surprise today. I received an e-mail back from the maintenance manager who took the time to investigate and try to remedy the situation. Because of her efforts, Honda is able to get me a refund for the replacement. Are you KIDDING? Wow, someone who follows up and gets somewhere with it. Can't say how much I appreciate that. Although it's not really a third of the total bill, I can handle this. I'm grateful she took the time and I wanted to set the record straight on Gropius.

Sadly, excellent customer service is often a surprise. Even so, cheers to them! Other big surpises today:

1. D-Man is suspended for a fight again. Same situation--some kid hit the crap out of him in the school hallway and he fought back. To be continued...
2. I'm winning the lottery tonight. I just feel it.

Big Headed Fools

I'm over people with big heads. And God knows, there are enough of them in this world.

Yes, we know that most of them are just trying to compensate for small appendages or insecurities, but it gets annoying.  I'm sure you agree that having a big ego is way different than having confidence.
Suzicate had a great conversation about this recently on the Water Witch's Daughter.

Confidence is that inner knowing which allows you to move forward, believing that you're something special, but no more special than any other human being. A big head, on the other hand, screams out "I deserve to be served first," or "Get out of my way, you underlings," or "I am sooo much more intelligent that all others living and breathing on planet Earth. And all of those who have ever lived and breathed on the planet."

Where do I encounter these people?  I see them in politics. (What's new, right Gropius?)  I see them at flashy fundraising events. And I encounter them in professional situations where they behave without integrity or thanklessly demand that their emergency "need" becomes mine--not caring about my schedule, priorities or timing.

I think most people--maybe more than we realize--are good at heart, genuinely care about others, and think they're no better or worse than the next woman. But every now and then, the ones with big heads announce their presence at unexpected times and fill me with a sense of disgust.  I know I should feel compassion for them, but most of the time, it's hard because I know they make life difficult for others.

Here is what's interesting. Eastern religions tell us that ego is just as much about the person who believes he/she is less than deserving as it is about the big headed fools walking around. Why? It's still the ego that's at risk when we fear failure itself or fear looking badly in front of others.

Now those are things I can identify with to a greater degree. So I am just as much of a big-headed fool as the next person.  It's all about constant self improvement, yes?  No matter how critical I am of the BS in the outer world, an internal focus always reigns me back in to my own shortcomings.

Hoping my own big head can take a long walk on a short pier.

Making Your Mark with Big Pranks

For whatever reason, most adults do not enjoy---or find acceptable---even the most thoughtfully crafted, well-meaning prank. That's unfortunate. I often dream about how to creatively get a surprise out of someone without actually causing any harm.

It's just so easy to imagine how nice a steaming pile of excrement might look in a certain locale. Or how funny an anonymous e-mail containing some speck of racy information could be to a certain deserving individual.

...Hmmm, maybe those aren’t pranks but something else more sinister?

It's all about how you brand it, right? Not so with me. I always got busted for anything. The little mischievous behavior I engaged in, I got called out for. It just works that way with some people…and for whatever reason, that includes me. Call it instant karma.

Growing up, I was always amazed at how our asinine neighbors got away with bloody murder. One day they ran around the house and coated every external doorknob with Vaseline. You obviously didn't see the slime coating until you’re reached for it. And sadly, we opened more than one door before conducting a full environmental scan. (Think about it…you’re just so angry after the first one, you run the next with such a mad eagerness to get inside you do it again. I'm sure you could hear "Goddamn it!" several miles away.)

On another occasion, the oldest and most physically unattractive of the three boys (who was in high school at the time) came to the door offering a plate of crackers to my mother. They were filled with a mysterious paste--toothpaste to be exact. Did we try one? HELLO. Of course not. it was just a little too suspicious. I did give the boy credit. It was probably all he could do to arrive with a serious expression of heartfelt kindness.

To this day one of the few things I regret in life is not carrying out a full fledged assault on those boys. The good side of that is that all 4 of us--the 3 neighbors and me--are still alive now. And tomorrow is another day--another chance, if you will. A chance for a big prank, nearly twenty years later.

Big Win

I'll preface this post by admitting that for most of my life I a.) hated sports, both playing and watching them; b.) suck at playing any sport; and c.) knew about 2 professional athletes by name.

For whatever reason, that all changed the year the Tampa Bay Rays made it to the World Series. I just clung on to them---the players are all young, (seemingly) wholesome, so eager to win, and extremely likeable. Husband even has a man crush on one of them. So I learned all of their names, the funny little things each of them does while pitching or hitting, and I started loving the game of baseball. It helped tremendously that the Rays team has a strong commitment to community service and actively raises money for and participates in charitable service all over our bay area.

Going to baseball games has become an activity everyone in the fam can enjoy.  Last night we had a blast at our first game of the season, and the boys made us proud with a 9-3 win.

Aren't they adorable? From left: Evan Longoria, Jason Bartlett, Ben Zobrist and Carlos Pena
Oh yes, they also kick serious behind out on the field.

Loved watching catcher Jaso enjoy an interview after the game...especially when he was decked with a ginormous whipped creme pie.

When they win, the Tropicana Dome is lit up orange as a signal of victory.

Here's a shot of that from the inside, while we enjoyed an awesome post-game show from legendary rocker John Fogerty.

And yes, he TOTALLY rocked. He's turning 65 this week, and who would know? His voice, his energy and mastery of the guitar were all impressive in this live show beyond what I could have imagined. He sang basically every Creedence Clearwater Revival hit, left us all wanting more and knowing we witnessed someone who deserved the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame designation for his band in 1993.


Guess what D-Man was doing during much of the game and the show afterward...

Good grief, someone save me.

A Big List of OTHER Things I Could Have Done With $1,000

$941.00 to be exact. Tell me, is it reasonable to pay that much for maintenance on a Honda that's only 3 years old with 50,000 miles? After you've just paid $350 less than 2 months ago for a scheduled service that was mainly supposed to include a thorough check-up on everything?

I went in yesterday to settle a troubling noise coming from the back tire area. In addition to learning that some thing called a rear upper controlled arm had come unscrewed, off track or whatever (I'm really smart about cars, as you can see), I learned that "oh by the way, you need a new battery, new front brakes, new tires (which I've already replaced once), new wipers, etc. etc.

So instead of bitching about it, which is soooo boring to read, let me take a moment to thank Honda.

Honda, thank you so much. I've really been dying to spend $1,000, and I can't think of any way I'd like to drop it more than right there with you.

But if you weren't so thoughtful to take away the choice for me, which made my life a heck of a lot easier, I'd like to list a few other things that I could have dumped it on:

1. Toping the list off would of course be any number of weekend trips. I'll put Arizona first, where dearest friend just relocated. I could totally get in to the desert. The enormity and beauty of the Grand Canyon is impressive. Like a rusty sunset. Aging over tens of thousands of years never looked so good on anyone.
2. I could soooo spend $1,000 on a single donation to any number of nonprofits that I haven't supported in the past but would like to. It's impressive how far our local organizations can make any financial contribution go--they use it to accomplish missions that serve chidren, places, wildlife so dear to us.
3. A new native plant garden for the yard. We don't use pesticides or fertilizers in our yard--they're very bad news for the health of the bay here in Sarsasota/ Bradenton. We also have some great native plants that attract birdies and wildlife. Once established, they require very little care, water or other resources. I'd love to grow that garden more than what we do a couple hundred dollars at a time every now and then.
4. Advanced camera.
5. Season tickets to the Rays for the fam.
6. New oil paint and water color supplies.
7. Any choice of about 10,000 home improvement projects.

I'll spare you the long list of additional choices.  With so many decisions to make, I'm so grateful Honda chipped in to make it all work out.

What would you do with $1,000 outside of your standard budget to randomly spend on anything?

Making a Big Deal Out of It

Having a 13 year old in the house, one must decide on a daily basis--um, rather a minute by minute basis--when to make a big deal out of a situation you're not too pleased with and when to leave well enough alone. Case in point: when the you see an outgoing text message with the words "How ya doin' today, sexy" on his cell phone, do you...

a.) Worry that tweenage sex is but a moment from entering the realm of your serious concern.
b.) Think, "Oh well, it's okay. I mean I didn't do that at age 13. Oh yeah, I didn't know what a cell phone WAS at age 13."
c.) Give a long lecture about appropriateness, along with the secondary lecture routine: "Don't you dare erase any outgoing or incoming text messages before I have a chance to read them!"

Erring on the side of caution, I just took the damn cell phone away.

I mean, THIRTEEN?  Am I overreacting? Someone at Planned Parenthood was telling me that many kids are running around at 14 having sex. I'm sorry but I think that is one of the worst freaking things I have heard in forever.

My 13 year old is like a 10 year old with a body containing a few emerging armpit hairs. ...And yes, he did steal dad's razor out of the bathroom and shave a fine-hair mustache. What? Does he think it's not going to grow back thicker and stronger?

Last night I found him muttering to himself, almost in tears, in his bedroom about an hour after he was supposed to be asleep.

Gropius: "What is going on in here?"
D-Man: "It's just...not (sniff, sniff)...fair."
Gropius:  "WHAT's not fair?"
D-Man: "Dad is over saying goodbye, and I can't even go over there now."

So after several long minutes of trying to decipher what the hell he was talking about, I realized that our neighbors across the street had a few house guests this week, including a few young cousins. Evidently, that was plenty of time for D-Man to dump the 5th "girlfriend" in a month and decide he was in love with one of the young visitors.  This morning, I found the back door wide open. At 7:15 a.m., he had run out to say goodbye.

Is this sweet? Or am I in eminent danger of becoming a grandmother?  You think I'm nuts, I know. But it scares the hell out of me. We've had the big talk. Several times. They're showing condom videos at school. I don't want to make anything such a big deal that the kid is afraid to ever tell me anything. Establishing trust and having control: two sides of the same coin.

I know, I know. It's called puberty. It's just that I'm really not ready. And maybe this post should have been titled "The Big P."  Please, have pity on me.

ONLY funny comments and or supportive comments allowed on this one. No lectures please. :)

Big and Corny vs. Big and Boring

Even in a down economy, our favorite brands are spending big money on promotion. It's a fact of life--they have to do it. Still, many of them rely on big budgets for boring, just to keep things "safe."

I'll give a gold star to the company that came up with this catchy dance number for "Turn the Tub Around," a new ad campaign for I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. It's so corny, but the guy dancers are hilarious. The effort and the humor is enough to make me want to reach for it on the shelf instead of my typical choice.  And it sticks.

It's not the most genius thing I've ever seen, but I'll give 'em an "A" for effort in the corny category--certainly better than boring. What do you think?

Big Time

Correct: I am dying on the vine with this month long Big theme. But I'm still here. And honestly, I HAVE always enjoyed Peter Gabriel's incredible creativity. Remember this? 



What creativity!  His videos always rock. They were extra bizarre before bizarre became an essential ingredient in every music video.

In Your Eyes was another of my Peter Gabriel favorites. Probably the best in my book. Remember sweet Lloyd Dobbler from Say Anything?

A Big, Man-Eating Turkey

A big, silver man-eating turkey.

So a while back, Krista at Picture Imperfect tagged me. The tag required me to take the tenth photo from the first album on my computer and explain the story behind it.

At an art festival in Lakewood Ranch, I took this photo of a woman circling around the gigantic turkey sculpture, looking at it with a questioning air that seemed to follow my thoughts exactly, "What the Sam hell would you do with something like this in your house or office?" 

Clearly, the artist is very talented.  I just can't figure out if this is meant for a family that reserves a separate room of the house for each holiday, and this is the Thanksgiving tribute...or...? Yeah. Not sure.

If I were the birdie in the lower left corner, I would feel slightly--um--short-changed. It got the crap end of the stick no doubt.

Thanks for your tag, Krista. Love your photos!

My Big Beef With Stores that Sell Puppies

I've recenlty noticed people employed by Petland standing on the roadside with signs exclaiming "PUPPIES!" in large red letters. Petland is still around and still selling puppies because people are still buying puppies from them.

I'd like to believe that 100% of people don't purchase puppies from pet stores once they learn that a vast majority of these animals are bred in puppy mills. 

I'm not talking about anything radical here. And I'm not talking about anything new. I'm talking about dogs that are tortured for a lifetime for one purpose only: to breed, give birth and do it all again. In a cage. And anyone who buys a dog that came from a puppy mill is perpetuating this industry.

In short, here's why they're so appaling to me and to many people:

1. They are incredibly cruel for the breeder dogs. In most cases, she will spend her entire life in a small wire cage, being bred over and over again. No home, no comfort, often disgusting and filthy. What happens when she's no longer producing? Many times, breeding animals are abandoned or sold cheaply to another more filthy mill in an attempt to get a final litter out of the dog before she's killed.
2. They are incredibly cruel for the puppies, kept in a cage in a pet store until someone finds them cute enough or feels sorry enough for them to make a purchase.
3. They contribute to the terrible problem of pet overpopulation in this country. According to the Humane Society, 4 MILLION dogs and cats are put to sleep every year (one every 8 seconds) in US shelters. There's no shortage of adoptable dogs and cats!
4. Many of the young offspring are sickly, a product of the overbreeding and poor conditions.

Here's a list of FAQ's about puppy mills assembled by the Humane Society of the United States.

What can you do? Get your next pet from a shelter. If you're looking for a specific breed, there's a rescue group--literally--for every breed of dog you could possibly want.

If you do have to get a puppy that's not from the County shelter or from the Humane Society, check out a breeder who is responsible--who takes good care of the mother dog and who makes sure the offspring go to owners who look at a pet as more than an object to exploit.

The Big Move

This was my last weekend with my best friend. She's moving to Arizona where she will live with her sister briefly and set up a new life in a place that's hopefully filled with more professional possibilities and new soul-friends waiting to meet her.

I'm famously good at keeping in touch with phone, e-mail, texts, letters. But there's no replacement for being near someone, just a phone call away from a lunch date or an inpromtu walk on the beach. I'm going to miss her terribly.

She's caught between two worlds now, still in disbelief about where fate is taking her and finding it hard to say goodbye. Yet, she feels that our town is an old item in the refrigerator--the expiration date has long since passed.

Change is inevitable and inevitably hard. Even harder when it seems to lead us by the hand without the element of choice.

When I was in eleventh grade, my parents announced we were moving to Florida after the school year was over. And after getting over the incredible loss, disappointment, shock, where-has-my-world-gone feeling, I realized that no matter where I was, I would be the same person. At the same time, I was suddenly anonymous. I could reinvent myself if I wanted. With that came enormous excitement, freedom and strangely, peace once I came to terms with it.

It wasn't an easy year for me. And no doubt the big move had some negative effects. But for whatever reason, it's what was in the cards. And I have to believe it was for a reason. We don't know everything. And for one, I have faith that when the element of choice is taken away from us, something greater is guiding us.

In this way, I believe that my friend is being led to Arizona. Sure, her level of success and happiness there will largely depend on what she builds for herself. But I rest in the comfort of feeling that none of us is alone. When we feel the hour is darkest, we're secretly being looked after and guided just where we need to be.

Big Soul on Main Street

Today we enjoyed a nice lunch on Main Street in Sarasota and happened upon several amazing dancers who were sharing their big soul to the beat of James Brown.

Incredible. I could have watched them for hours. Heard they're offering lessons at a local studio, but I'm inclined to think I would kill myself trying to do it.

I Wish I Was Big

"Big" was a classic movie in ways. It really made you think...do I really want to be at a different stage of life? And laugh. Whether you watched it as a young larvae, wanting to be a grown-up, or if you were reflecting back on your youth, it was fabulous. ...And makes you realize that sometimes rushing things just isn't "all that"...nor is wishing you were once again a middle school pimply kid emerging into your first taste of self.

I've discovered, by the way, that wishing for a later stage in life--one in which you have more free time (are retired), or don't have periods anymore, etc.-- can continue until you're in the grave, wishing you didn't wish your life away.




I'm so guilty of wishing the week would more quickly pass, yielding the two day weekend. If I keep this up, I'm missing out on a hell of a lot of good time.

P.S. Tom Hanks, though he has been totally overexposed, has incredible talent. Agree?

Big Side Effects

Why thank you very much. I'll take my allergies, insomnia and erectile dysfunction.  Not that I have any of those. It's only 1:23 a.m. and I'm writing a scheduled blog post to cover a ridiculous situation I got myself into: blogging about "big" everyday for one month  But seriously...

I've just heard 4 commercials for prescription medications in less than 40 minutes.

Here's a small example: "In patients with depression, Lunesta may result in increased depression and increased risk of suicide." Let's see...get a decent night's sleep or kill yourself?  I guess if you aren't getting your z's, you could actually want to die.  Looks like either way, you're headed down the road of wanting to end your life.

Love the commercials for a medication treating something so minor that you could actually live with relatively inconvenienced, but the pills themselves can result in increased risk of heart attack, stroke, bleeding from your irises, the Ebola virus, swine flu, wanting to eat your own fingernails, etc.  Crazy.

Now what about the side effects that worsen the issues that the medications are supposedly treating? "Pristique can increase suicidal thoughts and behavior" in certain individuals. It's a freaking depression medication!!!

When I was experiencing severe issues with vertigo, a potential side effect of all the suggested medications was dizziness. Nice.

My personal favorite is the ED medication commercial that loudly points out (during prime time tv, I might add) "if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours, seek immediate medical attention..." or something to that effect. Well no crap.

First of all, thank you very much for making it even more difficult to watch tv with a 13 year old. When I was his age, all I had to worry about was a commercial for tampons coming on.  And secondly, I just can't imagine it would be too terribly comfortable walking into the hospital with an obvious, um...  Just fill in the blank. 

Now totally seriously: I really don't think we need commercials about prescription medications innundating us from all fronts, except for the obvious funny-value. The pharmaceutical companies are already crossing the line in our doctor's offices. Isn't that enough?

The Northern Territory's Big Sky

A recent post on Marvin the Martian reminded me of some experiences I've had with big skies. One of my favorite was the night sky in Australia.

I had the opportunity to travel down under the year I graduated from high school. I was there for six weeks, splitting my time half with a host family in a little town called Woomby in Queensland--about an hour's plane ride from Brisbane--and half traveling around the country. My favorite place by far was deep in the middle of the Northern Territory--the very red desert.

You could travel all day on this two lane road through the Red Centre without encountering another car.  On two nights, we simply pulled over at night and camped on the side of the road. We dragged out our tents, pitched them, made camp. 

The sky in the Southern hemisphere is more brilliant that anything, but out there--with no urbanization for many hundreds of miles--it's especially incredible. It literally looked as if the sky was 2 inches above my head and appeared as if it was descending on me. The magnitude of aliveness I felt was incredible: being far out in the desert, with a quiet breeze, seeing tracks in the shadows of the flashlight, there was nothing to separate me from the Universe. Above me there was a clear and giant expanse of the heavens which seemed to surround me like a blanket and include me with an ancient feeling of connectness.

A Big Freaking Annoying Inconvenience Thanks to Office Depot

Every once in a while, I appreciate the opportunity to complain. To much of it is bad news. But I'm annoyed and it's all because of Office Depot. And after all, what a great release writing is.

Yesterday:
Place an Office Depot order for materials I HAD to have this morning to complete a project on time.

Today:
1:15 p.m. Order hasn't arrived.
2:38 p.m. Order hasn't arrived.
3:31 p.m. Where the heck...?
4:14: p.m. I can't freaking believe it's still not here.
4:46 p.m. There are 14 minutes left until 5 pm.
5:00 p.m. Could it still come?
5:10 p.m. I'm a believer. Faith. I have faith.

Our receptionist had sent 3 e-mails and called.
I tweeted about it.

5:26 p.m. I call customer service. After going through the whole thing, I am disconnected.

5:32 p.m. Call back, ask for a manager. Which I never get. So tell me again why you didn't give me a manager? Is it because it's after 5:00 p.m.?  Well I'm here after 5:00 p.m. because you didn't deliver the stuff. (And this was the first night in a while I was actually going to leave on time.)

So after cancelling the order, I stop at Office Max to pick up everything that obviously may or may not ever be delivered by Office Depot and to get equipped for a fun night of work that I was supposed to do today. Here's what happens:

The SECOND I walk in "Hello, ma'am, how are you today? What can I help you find?"
He takes me right to what I need.
On the way up to the register not one but TWO representatives offer to help me carry the stuff.
The cashier offers to help me carry it out to the car.

Office Max, you're my hero. Office Depot, you're so dead to me.

And world, I know there are much bigger problems than whether an order was delivered on time. But just entertain my aggravation for one small moment.  And then let's move on to happy things...

Don't you hate it when a company doesn't fulfill its end of the bargain and it affects your productivity or your work?

The Big Backyard We Share

If you consider the world as your backyard, you have a big, big backyard.  I do.

I love roaming about in the woods, over boardwalks through marshes, by reed-lined rivers--anywhere I can find branches, a sky unblemished by buildings, and ants. Yes, ants.

I'm so content anywhere outside.  And being there creates a feeling of emotional and physical space for me where I can go outside of thought. It's meditative I suppose. 

I can forget my age, my job, my obligations and melt into a universal place of being where I am simply an observer.

Big Decisions

Like you, I've made some big decisions in my life.  Most of the big decisions are more intangible--they've been decisions more about the kind of person I'd like to be, the spiritual principals I choose to guide me. 

But of course there are those decisions that change the direction of our lives by virtue of a single sentence. These are the pronouncements that, in a series of words, can change everything:  a marriage vow, accepting a new job, starting over by moving to a new city or state, making a stand for justice that shapes all of your activities and friends, challenging someone you're close to, the choice to have (or not to have) children, etc.

I have a heavy decision churning in the old Gropius psyche today. I'm still collecting all the facts and doing the right scans needed to make the most informed decision I can. But it's one of those decisions that's hardly cut and dry.  One choice means way more potential opportunity for me but comes with risk.

Being "safe" isn't always the best way to lead your life. But risk comes with its own set of realities--the possibility that some of what you currently have and hold dear will be lost.

So I'm doing the good 'ole pro and con list, waiting until all of the information is available, taking my time without letting the hourglass decide for me, and doing my best to let intuition guide me. I'm still relying on the Universe to provide some pointers. I just need to pay enough attention to hear her.

What are the big decisions you've made in your life? What do you wish you knew when you made them?

Big Color in the Springtime

One advantage of living here in Sarasota's paradise is that we have year-round color. But nothing decorates my world like the big color of springtime.

Enjoy these photos from the blooming beauty of Marie Selby Botanical Gardens, one of the treasures of this community.

Big Friendships

Facebook has taken "Friends" to a whole new level of mediocrity.

It really sucked the day I realized that no matter who you are, there are few people you can call true friends. So many are there when times are good, when there's something they're getting from the relationship. Could be that you're the one to confide in, or the unfailing lunch date, or the one at the end of the phone call, or the  faithful blog commenter.

But when it comes down to having someone who considers you as essential and important as life itself, that narrows your pool of "friends."

Having realized this fairly early in life through some devastating disappointments, I now feel empowered by it. I reconize the Big Friends in my life. They're the kind of people you don't have to speak with everyday, but you know in a heartbeat, you could pick up just where you left off. And we would do almost anything to care for one another. Isn't it grand to know someone like that? And to feel that way about someone else?

I'll have a chance on Saturday afternoon to spend some time with one of my Big Friends. We haven't seen each other in months. We live in the same town but also live very different lives. Still, she could call on a me and in a moment's notice and I would be there, and know I could expect the same with her. We may have different perspectives, but we always have a common ground of trust and respect. And I find brilliance in her comments, thought processes and ability to see a purpose in everything--make everything work somehow, even when she doesn't fully understand it.

Any experiences with Big Friendships?

This Is a Big Sign

Can you read it?

That's right, it says "SLOW SPEED."  Brilliant! 

Many argue that these signs are strategically placed in front of large waterfront homes so their owners don't have to dabble in the noise of honkey fishermen's boats going past with their loud motors. I don't doubt that's true in some instances.

But the law is the law, people. The manatee is a protected species for good reason. If you're not in Florida, you might not know it, but soooo many boaters are not responsible--we see them navigating through no wake or minimal wake zones full steam ahead. My family includes boaters and fisherman, so I know that some of them are careful, law abiding citizens. 

The ones who aren't just kill me. I only wish there was more active enforcement. There were 97 manatee deaths caused by watercraft in 2009 in Florida, according to the Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commission.

The signs are big, people, but your brains, evidently, are not. Please learn to read.

Big Fan

I'm a big fan of...

• People who make me laugh
• Krispie Creme chocolate iced donuts
• Imagination
• Toni Morrison
• U2: any & all, from the old days to the new
• Tampa Bay Rays baseball
• Baskin Robbins chocolate chip ice cream (and milkshakes)
• Saturday afternoons
• The World According to Garp
• Peppermint Mocha
• Honest politicians
• When I can crack myself up with fantasies (see above)
• Good conversation
• People-watching
• Rain
• Making a stand

Way too many other things to list. What are you a fan of these days?

Big Naming Opportunities

Why yes, I do call my dog Flanders several different names, including Jerusha. I still discuss the yellow lab from my youth frequently in conversation--he was a legend, and he had at least 39 names.  Plus I made certain that all of the names were a little odd for a dog: Jerome, Demetrius, Nutricia, etc. Don't tell me I'm strange. I know it. And I did use a different name depending on what mood I was in at the time.

You see, there are several big naming opportunities in life:  a new baby, a new business, a new pet, a building if you're very rich and charitable, and last but not least, a new blog. If you don't choose carefully, you're either stuck with the name...or you get into multi-name territory. Life just seems too short for one name.

I always thought it was interesting to hear what some of my friends called their grandparents. And then there was me. I called one grandmother "mum" and one grandfather by his first name, Wally. Again, a little strange, but perfectly normal to me.

Over the last few days I've really been thinking about the big naming opportunity for my parents as they enter the grandparent role for my brother's little girl. D-Man just calls them by their first names, which I am forbidden to list in this blog.  I was fooling around making up bizarre grandparent synonyms during last week's visit.

"There's your hoho,'" as my father is holding her. "Is that your memoo smiling at you?" when my mom is cooing. We're finding it really funny and aren't sure if the young lass will refer to them as grandma/grandpa or any other number of combinations. But they better be careful and assertive about the name of choice. Once it's been selected, it's there for good. (Unless I have anything to do with it.)

When D-Man came around before I was in the picture as stepmom, one of his grandmothers wasn't ready to be called "grandma," and insisted on being called "Mema."  At age 10, D-Man was greeted with a surprise from her: "I want to be called grandma now." And she was really, really serious.

What the hell? How can you recondition a kid who has fondly known you as Mema his whole life? Bizarre. Pure bizarre. We've rebelled against these wishes and have encouraged him to continue calling her what he feels comfortable calling her. Good grief.

Care to share any of your interesting selections as far as the big naming opportunities go? Do you love the name of your blog? Ever thought about changing it? What did you/do you call your grandparents?

Big Trouble

When I was almost 16, my parents went out of town for a couple of days and left me at home with 13 year old brother. To cut to the chase, the two of us ended up in a bit of a disagreement, I locked him out of the house, and he punched through the glass panels on either side of the front door.

Neighbor called the parents, and I ended up...er um...being told I must remain inside until they returned the next day. Justifiably, they were pissed that they could not leave town for a rare excusion without having this sort of drama from two supposedly responsible offspring.

Of couse in my mind, I had great reason to lock younger brother out of the house. Further, I already bought tickets to the Eric Clapton concert that night. So HELLO, I wasn't going to remain inside.  Please.

I went to the show and made no secret about it. And that, my friends, resulted in the ultimate pronouncement: "Thou shalt be grounded, including on your 16th birthday."


What sort of big trouble did you get into as a teenager? And now? Are you a trouble maker, or a peace maker...or perhaps a bit of both?

The Big Questions of Perspective

It's true that the ultimate goal on my life list is to deliver any kindness and assistance to the people and creatures that come across my path. I really want to make a difference. I don't always succeed in that, but that's the idea.

I get tired. I think too often of myself when I don't mean to. And I don't always keep what counts in perspective.

At the end of every day, these are the Big Questions that float through my mind obsessively as I try to coast into sleep...

• Did I do the most I could do today?
• Did I hurt anyone unintentionally or out of frustration?
• What do I wish I could do more of?
• What scared me or bothered me and why did it?  What part of ego was this associated with?  How can I kill it?

We see ourselves differently than others see us.  I delight in what I can discern of myself and hate it that there are answers difficult to find when I'm not looking at myself from the outside.

I'm lucky to have some good friends in my life who help me out with the Big Questions and pave the road to seeing myself as I really am. I'll take the good news and the bad, all in hopes of becoming something greater.

Happy Easter!

The Big Flight

Call me a nerd, but the miracles of migration astound me anew everytime I think about them. Can you believe that delicate Monarch butterflies flutter 2,500 miles? And that birds of all kinds fly from Canada to South America every year for the winter and then back to their summer nesting grounds?  I find it incredible.

This time of year in Florida, we love our migrating birds. They stop here to refuel before continuing on journeys to their northern homes. Last weekend at Hillsborough River State Park (left) near Tampa, I saw three such species I had never seen before: a Prothonatary warbler, a Blue-headed vireo, and a Hermit thrush. 

This week I'm in east-central Florida visiting my mother and father. Here's a Gray Catbird I photographed at Smyrna Dunes Park on a walk with my mother Thursday morning.  He was stocking up--unfortunately with exotic Brazilian Pepper berries--before headed on his big flight. Like the Blue-headed vireo and Hermit thrush, some of them hang out in Florida all winter.

They make a cat-like noise. Check out her dark gray cap and rufous-colored behind. So cute.

Just when I'm considering how daunting a task can be or how I might lose my way, I find inspiration in the Big Flight made twice per year by these amazing birds. Somehow they're guided by a force and a knowledge that seems so much bigger than what is contained in a bird brain.

Big Possibilities

Observing others embarking on life at its beginning, we see a clean slate full of new possibilities and exciting unknowns. As we move through our own lives, each choice can be empowering, it can be daring, it can be well-reasoned or silly, but in one way or another, it directs us on a certain path. And though that path can be altered in seemingly infinite ways, as we get older, our possibilities get more limited.

Perhaps one reason we're attracted to the freshly emerged youth of all species is the inherent symbolism they carry of newness--so many potential choices and directions will shape their now infant lives. They stand for big possibilities.

Here's my brother's first little girl, with whom I've been visiting this week. She flew out with her mother all the way from Texas, and we're enjoying getting to know her at this very tender time of life.

My hope for her, for myself, all those I love (and even those I don't like so much) is for us to stay open to big possibilities, to feel the current of things that could be, and to have the courage to make the right ones happen.

This weekend raise your glass to Big Possibilities and vow to make a great one come to fruition in your life!

Big Glutton for Punishment

I seem to gravitate toward self-induced over-crowding when it comes to tasks and activities. I enjoy so many things and have a damn hard time prioritizing what should go.  In the mix of "too much," what was once enjoyment turns to a collection of penalty points on my peace of mind. In essence, I'm a Big Glutton for Punishment.

So on top of some insanity in schedules for work, volunteer and family things, I'm doing it again--participating NaBloPoMo. It's actually a pretty cool idea. If you're not familiar with it, every month of the year except November, there's a different theme, and bloggers who participate agree to post every day of the month on that topic. In November, there is no theme; you just have to post every day. April's theme is "big."

On the way to work on Tuesday, I jotted down different "big" possibilities--trying to make it up to thirty--instead of making my "must accomplish before vacation" list for work.

I'm hanging out at my family's house in New Smyrna Beach for the rest of the week and will be kicking off a full month of "big" with photos.

What sorts of things do you get yourself into and then regret later, maybe knowing they took a little more time than expected? Are you a Big Glutton for Punishment?