Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Big Headed Fools

I'm over people with big heads. And God knows, there are enough of them in this world.

Yes, we know that most of them are just trying to compensate for small appendages or insecurities, but it gets annoying.  I'm sure you agree that having a big ego is way different than having confidence.
Suzicate had a great conversation about this recently on the Water Witch's Daughter.

Confidence is that inner knowing which allows you to move forward, believing that you're something special, but no more special than any other human being. A big head, on the other hand, screams out "I deserve to be served first," or "Get out of my way, you underlings," or "I am sooo much more intelligent that all others living and breathing on planet Earth. And all of those who have ever lived and breathed on the planet."

Where do I encounter these people?  I see them in politics. (What's new, right Gropius?)  I see them at flashy fundraising events. And I encounter them in professional situations where they behave without integrity or thanklessly demand that their emergency "need" becomes mine--not caring about my schedule, priorities or timing.

I think most people--maybe more than we realize--are good at heart, genuinely care about others, and think they're no better or worse than the next woman. But every now and then, the ones with big heads announce their presence at unexpected times and fill me with a sense of disgust.  I know I should feel compassion for them, but most of the time, it's hard because I know they make life difficult for others.

Here is what's interesting. Eastern religions tell us that ego is just as much about the person who believes he/she is less than deserving as it is about the big headed fools walking around. Why? It's still the ego that's at risk when we fear failure itself or fear looking badly in front of others.

Now those are things I can identify with to a greater degree. So I am just as much of a big-headed fool as the next person.  It's all about constant self improvement, yes?  No matter how critical I am of the BS in the outer world, an internal focus always reigns me back in to my own shortcomings.

Hoping my own big head can take a long walk on a short pier.

7 comments:

Erica@PLRH said...

Gropy, you don't have to worry about having a big head or ego. You have a big heart and that's what counts

injaynesworld said...

We all have our insecurities. It's just part of the human condition. I think the people with the big heads who behave as if they think they are so much better than others really just fear their own inadequacies and the louder they mouth off, the greater their fear.

Marvin said...

I like your big head. And your big wrinkly brain. Such pretty wrinkles.

I like egomaniacal people. I like ignoring them to their face even more, because it drives them crazy. ;-)

M L Jassy said...

Devious Marvster has struck a chord - I have a big-head-ometer which beeps whenever a big-noter comes along to big note themselves at me: withstanding the grandiosity of the egos of others is a real skill.

I also think one needs enough healthy ego to get on in life. Of course I'd say that, being something of an egoist!

ballast photography said...

You approach this topic with such balance, it seems you have things in perspective. I'm a big fan of making sure I'm in check before I fault someone else, but I also agree that self confidence and big-headedness are two different things.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the sout out. I think whenever I am on the verge of cockiness if I take a look inside, my insecurities get me back in check. Ego is balance...just like life, we just need to live as fully internally as we do externally. Did that even make a tiny b bit of sense? PLR is right...your big heartedness shines through your writing.

Liz Mays said...

It seems like whether we think a lot of ourselves or too little, we're still screwed then!