Sunday, April 11, 2010

Big Decisions

Like you, I've made some big decisions in my life.  Most of the big decisions are more intangible--they've been decisions more about the kind of person I'd like to be, the spiritual principals I choose to guide me. 

But of course there are those decisions that change the direction of our lives by virtue of a single sentence. These are the pronouncements that, in a series of words, can change everything:  a marriage vow, accepting a new job, starting over by moving to a new city or state, making a stand for justice that shapes all of your activities and friends, challenging someone you're close to, the choice to have (or not to have) children, etc.

I have a heavy decision churning in the old Gropius psyche today. I'm still collecting all the facts and doing the right scans needed to make the most informed decision I can. But it's one of those decisions that's hardly cut and dry.  One choice means way more potential opportunity for me but comes with risk.

Being "safe" isn't always the best way to lead your life. But risk comes with its own set of realities--the possibility that some of what you currently have and hold dear will be lost.

So I'm doing the good 'ole pro and con list, waiting until all of the information is available, taking my time without letting the hourglass decide for me, and doing my best to let intuition guide me. I'm still relying on the Universe to provide some pointers. I just need to pay enough attention to hear her.

What are the big decisions you've made in your life? What do you wish you knew when you made them?

14 comments:

Erica@PLRH said...

Many times I've leapt based on gut instinct. Some how it always seems to work out. My first marriage didn't work out but I have two awesome kids. Now I have a wonderful husband and the kids have a fabulous dad.

Listen to your heart and the universe.

Leah said...

When I was younger, I used to trust my gut feel. But now that I'm old, I list the pros and cons. I wish it was the other way around, I should have been more systematic when I was younger and more risky now that I'm older. Because now, I can afford to make mistakes. I can handle disappointments more.

Have a great day! xoxo

M L Jassy said...

My decisions of late are like Malach the Merciless' recent achievement: putting up force fields ... how best to protect yourself while still remaining a force to be reckoned with. Good luck with the pro-ing and con-ing. I've found sometimes it does not matter which decision you make, as long as you make one.

KB said...

Trust your intuition.Your intuition is the balance of all the information your subconscious has collected and weighed in addition to what your conscious mind knows. It's your ultimate key to survival. It won't let you down.

If you're worried about making a "wrong" decision ask yourself "What's the worst thing that could happen if I opt for ---------. Be realistic.It's probably not so bad..

If you're being attracted to the new rather than being repelled by the old the universe is already on your side.

You are loved no matter what you decide.

injaynesworld said...

When I have a big decision to make I, too, collect all the information I can and then I throw it out to the Universe to show me the way and ask that it be for the highest good of all. It always seems to work out for the best.

Wishing you wisdom and guidance in your decision-making.

bernthis said...

well, of course, leaving my husband. I knew in my heart, I had to go. I was scared to death and there were a whole host of risks but at the end of the day I really try to follow my gut

Julia, the Thanksgiving Girl said...

You now what, it looks liek we're very similar when it comes to big decision making. I always try to listen to the voice within, I make pro and cons lists if I have to, I'm looking out for the signs from the universe... Then most of the time I'd just feel what to do, and sometimes I realize I've know what was the right thing to do all along, but maybe I just needed some extra confirmation in the right-ness of this decision, know what I mean? As for the big decisions I've made and if there's something I wish I knew back then... I'd have to say there's no such thing. I guess I really don't have any regrets. If I knew something that I know now I'd make a different decision and wouldn't get a chance to learn from the experience that much and I believe my life would take on a whole different course and I might never get to meet certain people, go to certain places etc. I think everything happenes for a reason, and every decision that we need to make is here at the right time, so I am sure you'll make the right one and all turnd out just the way it should, even if not 100% as expected. Maybe it's really best not to expect anything at all, as some say!..

Anonymous said...

Big decisions are difficult, but instinct is rarely wrong in those moments of indecision. Best wishes.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

I try and go by the gut, but I've found those lists to help me rule out what I DON'T want.
Ending my marriage and moving to the Vineyard are probably my 2 biggest leaps of faith. And I remain good on both.

Marvin said...

At least you're making a list of pros and cons. Many people don't even do that.

With material things or money, I think the thing to remember is, if someone is urging you to make a choice now, then that choice will benefit THEM more than YOU. Any decision can be made in your own sweet time, and you will only suffer by rushing it.

I don't trust my gut, because my gut has no brain. My brain makes the list of pros and cons. My brain weights those pros and cons numerically (the longer list does not necessarily win). Then my brain makes the decision.

As the great philosophers DEVO once said, "Remember to do nothing when you don't know what to do."

But, I see from the other comments that the "leaving my partner" choice comes up a lot. If that's the choice, then go. Life is too short to be stuck with someone you don't fit with anymore. I have seen so many people stay together and be miserable, because they were too afraid (for various reasons) to leave. Then again, the grass is not always greener. Leaving one partner for another right away doesn't work well. Leaving one partner to be alone for awhile works well. It lets you remember who you are, and what you want.

Life is not a dress rehearsal. That's what the plaque on my wife's bathroom wall says.

Poindexter said...

sending you good energy! I have stepped through the big decision cycle only a couple of times and have been guilty of misjudging. But even the misjudgements somehow ended up shaping who I am. And I'm ok with that. Every experience has been worth while.

Liz Mays said...

The biggest decision was filing for divorce, the hardest, scariest, yet probably wisest thing I ever did.

nursemyra said...

The biggest decision I ever made was to leave New Zealand on my own when I was just 17. I must have been an utterly fearless teenager.....

Anonymous said...

I made a decision not too long ago to take a new job. It was presented to me as a golden opportunity. Turned out I should have went with my gut, it wasn't so golden after I started the position. Turns out I am doing nothing that I was told I would be doing. Just making somebody else look good.