I'll nominate that for the "No Balls Breakup Award."
I was out and about with two girlfriends on Saturday. One of them knew that a fulfilling relationship of 6 months--the kind where the "I love you's" were in place and had been affirmed-- was starting to feel a little tenuous. Something wasn't quite right. And then the text arrived. This was from a mature, age 50+ business man. Are you kidding? No balls. Zero.
The worst break-up for me isn't a juicy story but came from a man I was very much in love with. We had an amazing but short-lived relationship that lasted 3 months. It was my last semester of college. He apparently decided that it was time to move on. There was one strange conversation, no explanation and no official "it's over." That's was it--it was over for whatever reason and I knew it. And hated it. And mourned it. And didn't come close to dating anyone for 2 full years. I didn't want to.
I met Husband at that time, and after we had been dating for 6 months, I received a voice mail when I arrived at home after a long day at work. The message was "I've finally tracked you down and really want to talk to you." I never called back.
I do still care about him and wonder when our paths will again cross. I'm absolutely sure they will.
I'm grateful to be in a loving and supportive marriage, where the good, bad and ugly of who we are is out there and comfortable. There's trust and loyalty. And there's commonality beyond some unexplainable attraction. We have the blessing of D-Man, take the excitement and the boredom together, and understand that a real relationship is about giving each other the space to do what makes up happy, compromise, making up after disagreements and joint adventures in the exploration of life.
It reinforces my compassion for the recipient of the text break-up. Not only was it a pitiful way to treat someone you've cared about, but now she has an uncertainty before her again. Will I meet anyone? How can I trust someone again? What did I do wrong?
I know she'll find the one who's right for her, but honestly, I'm so glad I don't have to think about this again. Thanks, Husband, for being the good guy.
What is your worst break-up story? How did you recover?
14 comments:
welcome to my life- except I haven't been able to find someone I want to date long enough that he has to text me to dump me.
Give your friend a big hug from me.
I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I've never been dumped. I've always been the dumper. But I cetainly never would have done it via text! That guy is spineless. Give your friend another hug from me.
I will kill the guy if he broke up via text with me... at least have the balls to face me. But that goes to show what kind of guy he is so tell your friend that he is not worth crying for.
Have a great day! xoxo
I thought I was dating Todd. We ahd gone out a few times, had a great time. There was a good chemistry. One Saturday night I had a dinner party. On Sunday I was telling him about it and he said, "I hope there were some single people there for you."
Um . . . okay.
I like your concise but comprehensive description of what marriage is about. I think it covers the essentials.
I believe most of us have one idea of who we are and another idea of who we would like to be. And if there isn't a lot of overlap we get the roles mixed up from time to time and relationships come crashing down. And I don't think this phenomenon is gender specific.
Most broken romantic relationships in my life have happened because I'm very naive and trusting when it comes to believing what women tell me. When I've found that I've been misled, perhaps by my own naivete,I've returned to my solitude, sadder but no wiser. I guess I'm destined to believe whatever women tell me for the rest of my days.
My most devastating breakup didn't involve a romance in the usual sense but a friendship that started in NY and lasted through 20 years of correspondence after I moved to the midwest with two or three memorable face-to-face encounters thrown in along the way.It was much like twenty years of long blogs posts shared by two people who truly cared about each other. It ended abruptly with my second marriage. Like you with your college friend I still care about that person and believe that someday we will reconnect. People of the opposite gender that we have loved in that deep and mysterious sense of the word never leave us; they persist as a trail of memories stretching back through time. Such memories are not a distraction from today's relationships but a personal sustaining force.
Yeah, I just don't date often enough to have been broken up with by text. But I'm sure it'll happen one day...
My most devastating break-up story was my divorce. I dumbly married my first boyfriend ever. The divorce was HARD, even though I initiated it! The pain really physically felt like I was dying, but after about 6 months or so, I picked up all my broken pieces and sewed myself back together. And here I am! :)
My most devastating breakup was when Stephen died. Does that still count as a breakup?
Dumped via email. Only slightly better than SMS.
That is the most cowardly way to break up. I can't believe an adult would stoop to such an immature level! Your friend is deserving of someone much nicer and "braver"...a mature adult.
I like KB's analysis. And yes, text-breakups are SO lame.
The worst for me was coming home from my weekly business travels and finding the apartment empty. She'd taken everything, including a brand-new queen bed, and a bunch of my music. No warning, no note. I left a voicemail at her work threatening to call the police if she didn't return my music. It magically reappeared in a box by the door the next day. But that was the end. And that was really okay. That relationship taught me a lot about what a relationship SHOULD be (and wasn't). It was very useful.
Cowardly, rude, and downright MEAN!
My worst breakup was on New Years Eve. We had been together for four years and we were getting ready to go out to a party. He looked at me and said "You know what? I'm so DONE with this." And that was it. We were done. Sounds not too bad eh? Well, consider that we lived together, had a lease that neither of us could afford to break, and had to both stay in that house for the next 6 months. PURE HELL!
The funniest breakup (in hindsight... was kind of scary at the time.) was when I told the fellow I didn't want to see him any more and he FREAKED! He started yelling and shouting at me. He started calling me trashy names and accusing me of sleeping around (he was working out of town at the time, this convo was on the phone) so I told him I didn't EVER want to hear from him again. He left me a string of voice mails that got forwarded to the RCMP just in case, because he was so creepy.
In one message he screamed "I WON"T GIVE UP THAT EASILY! YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME AGAIN!!!"
....that was the last I heard from him. lol. I guess he *did* give up that easy. hehe
I still see him around town occasionally and I hope he at least has the brain to be embarrassed.
I think my daughter broke up with a boyfriend on instant message. That's nearly as bad, isn't it? It's such a cheesy, crappy way to do it!
Hey! I need your email to send you the link! It's not in your profile. :(
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