Monday, June 28, 2010

"Smells Like the Elderly"

What kind of a moron orders lipstick online from Avon? Me. That's right. The nice "mocha" color which I thought would look like...um mocha...looks like hot pink. It's beautiful, I tell you. Beautiful if you're a freaking mannequin at Old Navy.

So the other thing that really gets me is the Skin So Soft bodywash. How can you go wrong with Skin So Soft, right?  The two bottles I ordered are FIVE ounces each...perhaps enough to get a tiny child through the week--if she skips a bath every other night. The product was marketed as full sized. (And although the miniscule description actually says "5 ounces," you must have a trusty microscope to read the fine print.)

Just as a little insurance policy in case they don't publish my web review of the product, I thought I'd share it with you on Gropius:

An Ant's Head is Bigger Than This Bottle
Date: June 28, 2010

Are you joking? I could go through this entire bottle in a week. Should be marked "sample size." Pretty lousy.

Far better is this Skin So Soft review, straight from the Avon website:

Smells Like the Elderly

Date: January 21, 2010

"Not to disrespect the elderly, but the scent reminds me of pretty much every elderly woman I've ever come into contact with. The gel is great. It moisturizes very well and doesn't leave a residue on my sensitive skin. It didn't break me out, either, which I appreciate. The scent, however, is a strange mix of musk, powder and flowers. Very hard to describe. All I know is it reminded me of my grandmother and I couldn't wait to try this product in a different scent."

If only I could get this person as a regular guest poster on Gropius. What a comedian.

9 comments:

Unknown said...

LOL! Excellent reviews. :o)

I hate it when I 'forget' (OkI'mtoolazy) to read the fine print!!! Well, only when it causes me grief. ;o)

Leah said...

Hahaha! Funny real reviews really make my day. Have a great week! xoxo

SuziCate said...

I am laughing so hard I am snorting!!! You and my husband should compare online reviews you've written and tally the number that they actually post without cutting parts. You know that SOS is supposed to keep mosquitos away? That scent probably keeps most anything away...kind of like mothballs!

Poindexter said...

totally agreed, what a hilarious product review. Not sure if the customer was even trying to be funny. And that makes it even better!

And what's up with ordering lipstick from Avon? The true joy of purchasing inexpensive cosmetics is to fully immerse yourself in the experience at the corner drugstore. CVS, Walgreen, whatever happens to be there.

That's what I'm talkin about.

Marvin said...

Smells like elderly spirit. Ha! Very cool.

They are small bottles because mosquitos are small. And that's why people buy SSS, because it's the best mosquito repellent.

Erica@PLRH said...

I can't stand SSS. The powdery part of the scent is what kills me. Really, what possessed you to buy a new-to-you shade of lipstick from the internet???

M L Jassy said...

Have your say, that's what the good ol' internet is for! Blotchy lipsmacks mwa mwa xx

Liz Mays said...

That is hilarious! Full size would definitely indicate something larger than an ant's head. I think you need to take this further. You might get a GC out of it!

Gina said...

Haha hilarious review - I hope Avon posts it! I've never bought any of their stuff, and now I may never...

To answer your questions, my husband and I moved up here to Michigan for work - it was too good of an opportunity to pass up. It'll only be for a few years (or maybe less). And, yep - took those photos with my iphone! :)