I was a pretty good math student. But even calculus cannot help me develop an equation demonstrating the vast array of complex reasons I avoid water parks at all costs.
Take this photo, for example, captured today by husband during D-Man's birthday trip to Adventure Island. This sort of eye candy just doesn't work for me. I'm so glad she feels comfortable enough to wear a g-string, but um, that's why you invest in a backyard swimming pool. (And might I add, even if you have the perfect bod, I still don't want to see your cheeks in my face.)
Did I mention the grotesque assortment of germs that make entire Woodstocks out of bare feet, free flowing snot and infinite fingers grasping the plastic tubes and side rails? Gag me. No amount of chlorine would convince me that swine flu, hepatitis, innumerable other diseases and general filth don't consider water parks the Mecca of life on the planet.
Add waiting lines the length of those found at any post office in mid-December, blistering heat (or lightening, like today), and the shrill, excited cries of thousands of kids in a small radius---and bam! There you have it. Keep me far, far away.
All that said, the boys are having a fabulous time there today. I will greet them at the front door late this afternoon with a can of Lysol, grab their towels with plastic gloves and boil them for 24 hours.
4 comments:
Aw, c'mon! That's why you take vitamin C!
Don't forget the ecoli!
My three daughters...and especially my youngest...would rather have been boiled alive than go to a water park. You're better than The General...if I went there she'd never let me back into the house.
my kid went to a water park in April and refused to take off the bracelet they gave her for three months.
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