The Silver Sound Effect Alert

Driving out of town for my class yesterday, I encountered several digital signs over the highway indicating that a full "Silver Alert" was in place. I nearly had a wreck trying to read the signs, which also announced an involved vehicle: a silver car of a certain make and model with a certain license plate number, etc. That's a lot of information to read as you're going 75 mph.

Where the hell have I been? I had to phone husband to decode. A Silver Alert is evidently issued when a senior is missing.

No problem. In this part of Florida, it's like asking you to sift through 89% of the population. And the added irony of the silver car elicited a smirk.

After reaching my class, a different type of Silver Alert was enacted. An older gentlemen who is a vocal player in the class discussions showed up in full form, on cue without disappointment. Just as he's done in the past classes, he felt compelled to interrupt the presentation frequently to ask the instructor irrelevant questions about her personal career and to share 100% irrelevant stories. Now I don't mean to be harsh, but please man, spare us. A knowing glance exchanged with the gal beside me indicated that she, too, was on full Silver Alert.

Just to make the mix even more interesting, another overzealous participant provided some great sound effects. Let's just call her Sound Effect Sally. Sally literally cannot contain herself. It was as if she is having a personal conversation with the instructor.

During the three hours of our time together, she verbally called out things like: "Mmmm hmmm." "Oh, okay." "Cool!" "Oh I get it." "WOW!" "Woooaaaah!" "NO!" And when a heavy handout was passed out on two occasions, Sound Effect Sally responded with noises like: "Shhhhhkkkkkkrrrrr!" and "Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmm." Although entertaining in ways, it was more bizarre than anything. Is there a new alert system the state of Florida can create for this type of eccentric behavior?