Fay vs. A Tropical Storm

So Fay turned out to be a milksop. I guess that’s good news in terms of damage control. But Fay, really, couldn’t you at least dump some rain on us? We could use that.

You did accomplish a few good things though, and this we thank you for.

• You gave the kids a day off of school, right after school started yesterday. And go Manatee County! You big bad ass. You showed us that you would be the last county in the state of Florida to make a determination. That waiting until 4 pm thing really proved that you’re a stand alone.
• You gave the local weather reporters a chance to shine. I hear there is a twig or two down near the bay front.
• You also provided us with a nice work at home day. This is what I’m working on.
• You proved that the neighbors behind us really do exist. After a few months of inactivity, we noticed a new family moving in behind us. They dropped a large shed in the backyard and then disappeared. They were back last night to tie up patio furniture to the tree nearest our fence line. So they exist! And they’re all for helping their stuff destroy ours.
• You gave us a reason to fight in Aisle 12 at Publix. I’ve heard about a few small wars that have been waged on the water shelves Sunday & Monday. This proves that we humans still have far to progress on our ascension from being controlled by animal instincts. For now, we’re well equipped with two 24 packs of water bottles. Help us, our house is too small for that. And it’s not good for my environmental reputation.
• Finally, you’ve given us extra Gropius fodder. Were Ferocious G’s marvels of architecture designed with tropical storms in mind? Not sure, but Fay, you didn’t even dare to test them, did you? I hope there’s more where you came from. And next time, do something for the aquifer.