Spa Going and the "Whole" Person?

Are you spa-going these days? It seems like they're becoming as abundant as Walgreens and CVS pharmacies. (Although here in Bradentucky, "spa" is a new word, still being dissected and discovered.)

Frankly, I've never been the type to want others touching my face, painting my nails or screwing with my hair. And I can buy my own organic cucumbers to put on my crow's feet. According to an article in yesterday's Sarasota Herald-Trib, "These days, if a spa is not catering to the whole person -- encouraging wellness, stress reduction and mental clarity -- it is probably falling short." Oh really? That's a huge breakthrough! And a great added bonus for spa-goers in today's economically-challenged society.

Two short points:

• Maybe I should reconsider spa-going. I am a poster child these days for needy when it comes to wellness, stress reduction and mental clarity. I don't recall getting that phone call asking me to pose for some glossy spa slicks.


• The economy sucks. If you're still going for regular spa treatments, surely you aren't in a position to be that stressed...at least not compared to the rest of us.

The way I see it, I could have someone trained in manicures and massage tell me how to balance my life for an hour, or I could fill up with gas so that I can get to work this week. Or eat out a couple of times with the fam. This weekend, I think I'll stop by Home Depot, pick up some cheap landscaping stones, microwave them and ask the husband to line them up on my back.

I visited Aspen some years ago and stayed with a psychiatrist. Evidentally, he did have patients there. Yep. People who find stuff to work through emotionally but who don't happen to work, ski 4 times a week and live in the lap of luxury.

Tell me again...why do we have so many spas in Sarasota? And who is going there all the time? Get real!

Fav 5 Most Inspiring

In the interest of getting back to the point, Gropius is initiating a Sarasota/ Bradentucky Fav 5 series with the top 5 inspiring places in our area. Keep in mind that these are today’s musings; who knows how the list could change on another day. Let's begin with 5 and work our way up to the most inspiring:

5. The Florida West Coast Symphony—um, I mean the Sarasota Orchestra (new name, same place). I will confess that I’ve only been twice (thank you very much, Skunk Ape and Coaching Goddess), but it was so inspiring that I’m contemplating the MasterWorks series. Melt into the music and think of swallows flying low over the Celery Fields.

4. Burns Court Cinemas. Did you know that we have some majorly inspiring flicks come our way—independent films that don’t hit the regular box office? You can check them out and support the Sarasota Film Society while you’re doing it.

3. The Sarasota Convention & Visitors Bureau. No really, this place is inspiring, and who says you can't be a tourist in your own town? It’s pretty cool to walk in and see the millions of brochures of the totally amazing museums, performances, tours, services, natural areas, etc. that you can see, do and take advantage of in our little corner of the Universe. It makes me proud to live here.

2. Sarasota Bay Front—especially during the months when we have the giant sculptures and art on display. Whether you care for an obnoxiously huge rendition of a sailor’s kiss, a monstrous molar tooth, an empty picture frame, or the variety of other bizarre interpretations, it's a super place to walk and think about life.

....And the number 1 most inspiring place is…

1. Any Sarasota or Manatee County Park. I guess it’s cheating to speak in such generalities, but I couldn’t possibly choose—Carlton Reserve, Robinson Preserve, Red Bug Slough, Pinecraft Park…there are so many. They’re all pretty cheap too—free as a matter of fact. Although I was going to put my house as #1, since it is, for me a place of recharge (ok, some of the time it is), these awesome natural beauties definitely win on the list of most inspiring. Put them on your to do list. Bring your sweetheart or a friend or a kid.

Did I miss any here? Of course, there’s plenty of fodder. Fill me in.

Word to the Wise, Snappy People: Bite Me

I don't know about you, but I've had enough of smart alecks for the week and it's only Monday. The people in this category include...(all of whom I've encountered recently):

• Folks who get nasty and snippity when they owe you information and don't want to give it to you.
• Elevated egos who are too busy with their all-importance to take stock of the fact that there are others who are living and breathing on the same planet.
• Elevated egos who believe, although there may be others living and breathing on the same planet, that their air is better than yours and therefore they deserve your attention before anything else that may be important to you.
• Angry nurses who don't want to do their jobs and who treat their helpless patients like the doo-doo on the shoe of a slug.
• People who issue quick-tempered responses and blame it on a headache, a period, a bad phone call and any other number of excuses.

If you're feeling a little snappy, go talk to your cat instead. Or bite me.

Freak Spaniel

Sarasota is a land of many dogs, and their owners like to take them everywhere. People think they're bordering on rock star status strolling the downtown Saturday farmer's market with their pooches. Or jogging at City Island with their leashed labs, retrievers and boxers.

I have to admit that I'm a little jealous since Flanders isn't a socialite; we spend our time walking on nature trails since she's a one-family sort of dog. As a former street dog who doesn't trust, there just isn't any room in her life for new people outside the circle.

But there's one dog that adds a whole new meaning to the word "freak." Springer spaniels are hyper and somewhat disjointed by nature. But my parents' young spaniel Katy is off the charts, ladies and gentlemen.

When you first walk into the house, she's choking on her own larynx in excitement, making a frightening gasping noise that alerts you to the fact that something is just slightly off kilter.

After the original excitement of your presence wears off, she sometimes pulls a move called a "run and sweep." Running at the speed of light, she jumps up takes a soft bite at one of your hands and then continues past you. ...Only to turn around and repeat a run and sweep in the other direction. She pulls something similar if you take her for a walk. Except the run and sweeps are aimed at invisible squirrels on either side of the road, far up into the yards of the neighbors.

Katy likes to look at you with an air of calm intelligence--just before lunging at your face to take a "friendly" nip. Her moodiness is unprecedented in the world of dogs; it's catlike in nature. And my mother refers to her as SRB (spoiled rotten bitch) because the dog is, well, a complete snob.

Dressed up in a purebred spaniel hair cut, a leather collar, and a gait that rivals any best-in-show, Katy is ready for the cover of Vogue (in looks, not in lady like behavior). She even has special poop bags to collect the fertilizer she deposits on the too-green lawns in her neighborhood. Publix grocery bags just don't cut it for Katy.

In essence, the SRB spaniel is reason number 2,000 you should get your dog from the pound. I can't imagine this superfreak walking down Main Street on a Saturday morning, or any morning.

Time Out

I'm getting a little personal here tonight. Sometimes I just need to say "Wooooah there!" Let's slow the hell down. Ever find that life becomes a mirage of meaningless details and you lose sight of what's really important?

I find that when I'm driving on U.S. 41 and am overly agitated at the old guy who's had his left turn signal on for a million years and finally swings right...it's usually my sign that it's time to take stock of reality.

Today, a creeping Outlook program at work literally seemed like it would cause the world to end. Someone's flat reply to an enthusiastic "how are you?" was seriously annoying. At home, a knock on the door that triggered the dog into a spiraling barking routine was sooo agitating. And reviewing the same homework assignment 3 times was maddening beyong belief. It's all been a build up.

So taking stock of reality--for me--means getting away from the post-it notes, websites and over-obsessing about moving ahead. It's the reality of what counts. It counts that I'm hanging out on this planet impacting the lives of people around me. I hope it's a positive impact most of the time. And even though I think it is negative and selfish just a tiny part of the time--when I get just a teensy bit frustrated with people who aren't on the same page--that's still too much.

Sometimes, I'm too forgiving of flawed human nature; other times, I'm so tough on myself that I can't move forward with a good sleep.

It sometimes takes a serious incident in life to jolt me back to the frightening and calming reality (all at once!) that you've got to focus on the things that are permanent. Job, position, things, details...they don't count. It's been a weird week so far; some absolutely crazy things have happened to the people around me. The purpose is far greater than just me, but I'm harvesting this opportunity to re-evaluate. ...Humor will return soon to Gropius.

Local Comedy Part 2

Yep. Cops Corner is back with a vengeance in the most recent edition of The Longboat Observer. A few favorites from the real life newsworthy stories of Longboat cops this week...

10:55 p.m. Disturbance.
A drunken man complained to the police that his tenants took his Border collie dog and wouldn't give it back. The tenants, who said their landlord had been bothering them, allowed police to look for the dog. After the dog could not be found, police told the landlord to go home and sleep it off.

Maybe someone told the dog to go sleep it off too?

11:11 p.m. Suspicious vehicle.
Police observed a white Chevrolet Corsica in the Longboat Key Center for the Arts parking lot and felt the car looked out of place.

Longboat Key? Chevrolet Corsica? If it's not a BMW, Mercedes, Volvo SUV or the like, shit yeah, it's out of place!

5:54 p.m. Suspicious person.
Police gave a man a ride to Sarasota after he was found staggering down the road because his friends drove off without him.

Of course! Get that boy off the island and back to the mainland, where drunks and homeless are treated with respect....er um, sort of.

...and my personal favorite (combined with I-certify-I'm-not-making-this-up):

2:19 p.m. Driving Under the Influence.
A man told police "it wasn't his day" after police caught him backing into another car at a beach acecss and discovered a cooler of half drunken beers that had vomit all over them because "the six German beers did not agree with the egg rolls" he had eaten.


No comment.

Good Times at A Taste of Asia

There are some cool finds along Main Street in Sarasota if you're looking for a bite to eat. Both of my visits to A Taste of Asia have not only provided me with excellent grub, but with entertaining conversation, bonding with strangers and great people watching opportunities.

Last night I found myself at a table there with the owner of a WalMart Buddha, a teacher, three mothers, a fisherwoman, a model, a social worker, a Mary Kay saleswoman, a coach, a PR professional, a menopausal nutcase, two recent Sarasota transplants, and several philosophers. And there were only four of us. It made me think (as one Gropius reader has recently written about) that we are soooo lucky to live in place with very interesting, diverse and accomplished women. ....And that many of these women have specifically sought out our community as a place to live and work.

And what's so great about A Taste of Asia? Well, aside from the owner (who's one hell of a female conversationalist herself), if you're even partially inclined to Asian food, you will find something scrumptious on the menu. Carnivore, vegetarian, picky eaters unite!

One of us in the group can be 180% identified with Sally in "When Harry Met Sally" as in:

"I'd like to take a perfectly good menu item, dissect it, reform it my way--with several substitutions that aren't on the menu anywhere--and expect you to recreate it for me."

In addition to having the grace to laugh about this, our server delivered a perfecto rendition of the request.

And I have to say that this must be the only restaurant in downtown Sarasota where you can get away with making loud and inappropriate vocalizations with your straw and your tongue, and it will not only be accepted, but people at other tables will try...and the owner of the restaurant will try. (Although I did not do this, my table mate on a previous night's visit did this and the audience participation soon allayed my initial mortified reaction.)

The windows to Main Street provide excellent insights into the latest fashions being sported around here, I might add.

Thanks for the night of laughter and good times, ladies. And if you missed any slight part of the red carpet premiere of the Coco Channel story, I see that it will be repeated at least 62 times in the next 3 months on Lifetime.