Process vs. Instantaneous Change

The same thought patterns in my head yesterday--both brave and big picture, trite and random--are running through my inner script today. I'll venture to guess the same is true for you.

Yet the thought of a new beginning is ever enticing. We're helped along by New Year's Day. It represents the unified, festive nature of oneness in timing and the same desire we all have to change. It's exciting and silly at once.

Years ago I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. He talks about individual belief systems and the personal agreements to which you have unknowingly subscribed, merely as hand-me-downs from your family, friends and society. This year I ordered copies for family members, including the young D-Man, for Christmas. Perhaps part of rediscovering our true beliefs rests in second chances, a new beginning to how we're choosing to operate ourselves everyday.

We're warned by those on a spritual path that the New Year only begins when we commit to an inner change. This change we uphold against all outside influences that threaten who we really are and want to be. It's a process. Who has awoken the next day to find complete transformation? Who can live up to the expectation of overnight change?

My New Year's Resolution is to begin the process of what I hope to accomplish, not to be that accomplishment instantaneously. I hope you'll allow yourself the same latitude with whatever you hope to create for yourself.

Happy New Year to you!

The Secret Workings of Being Thankful

I've always considered myself to be a pretty grateful person. Throughout the rolling tape in my head each day, I consider how lucky I am to be healthy, to have people around me who care about me, to delight in small things, to notice and enjoy nature, to have a person in a dog's body for a pet, to have something upstairs in the good 'ole brain, etc., etc.

However, I have my fair share of sarcasm. It's there as a coping mechanism to entertain myself when things aren't exactly as I'd like them to be. I'd like to transform that into more active and unwavering appreciation for whatever I may encounter each day.

Julia Osovskaya took thankfulness to a whole new level with her blogging project last year. She vowed to write each day about one thing for which she was grateful--whether it was expression of a fat element of life or a situational reflection that one might not normally consider in a positive light. She succeeded and took me along in her journey.

I found her thankfulness refreshing and contagious. She's found that it changed her life. A couple days ago, Julia shared what daily thankfulness--deeply considered and expressed in writing--did for her. In her own words, here are 5 ways it's changed her. I think the first is most meaningful for me.

1. I don’t really get upset that much any more.
2. I feel much more comfortable when it comes to making distant future plans.
3. I’ve became a much more cheerful person and this is something other people actually now notice about me. Just recently someone told me the first thing they noticed about me and would never forget was my broad smile upon saying hello to them... I would never forget them saying it either, because this might as well be the first time someone told me something like that. And I honestly believe such thing would have never be applied to me if it wasn’t for my year of gratitude that did this magic to me.
4. I get up in the morning and I look forward to every day. This hadn't quite happened since I was a child, so it definitely feels positively new. I think it’s because I now know that no matter what the day ahead holds for me, I will be able to remain positive through whatever.
5. Not only my year of gratitude showed me what my true passions were, it totally showed me all the ways I could try to pursue my hopes and dreams. How is that not good?

Thanks, Julia, for your example of living in gratitude. It's a mindset, and once you get the hang of it, it's just part of who you are. I'm hoping to be more conscious about living in that space.

Check out Julia's blog here. Sending wishes to you for calmness, health and all good things as this year draws to a close.

The Big Questions of Perspective

It's true that the ultimate goal on my life list is to deliver any kindness and assistance to the people and creatures that come across my path. I really want to make a difference. I don't always succeed in that, but that's the idea.

I get tired. I think too often of myself when I don't mean to. And I don't always keep what counts in perspective.

At the end of every day, these are the Big Questions that float through my mind obsessively as I try to coast into sleep...

• Did I do the most I could do today?
• Did I hurt anyone unintentionally or out of frustration?
• What do I wish I could do more of?
• What scared me or bothered me and why did it?  What part of ego was this associated with?  How can I kill it?

We see ourselves differently than others see us.  I delight in what I can discern of myself and hate it that there are answers difficult to find when I'm not looking at myself from the outside.

I'm lucky to have some good friends in my life who help me out with the Big Questions and pave the road to seeing myself as I really am. I'll take the good news and the bad, all in hopes of becoming something greater.

Happy Easter!

The Earth: A powerful image.

It's true. The sight of the Earth from space is one that practically brings a tear to my eye everytime I see it.

If you think I'm a cornball, so be it. But for me, it's an overwhelming image seeing the oneness of our planet's experiences--wrapped up in one package including all of nature, people, continents, weather, atoms forming every material, cells forming every simple and complex organism--as one swirl of blue and green.

It's extremely powerful. I love it. And at times when we seem so diverse in thought, when differences seem to surmount similarity in the human experience, this image brings me back to the reality of what we all share.

From an artistic perspective, this sphere of spectacular color and pattern is simple and complex at once, encapsulating the brush strokes of cloud formations atop massive continents and the reflections of the distant but heavy influence of the sun.

How we can change for the better, open back up to beauty and come back to a single focal point when we observe the brilliance of our world from this point of view!

Happy New Year! Here's to Courage.

I was happy to discover that we have a brand new themed section in NYC's New Year's Eve Ball: "Let There Be Courage."  (And holy crap, Waterford has also released a New Year's Eve iPhone app called "Clink-Clink"...that didn't make my top 10 list.)

I've fought feelings of guilt this year because I still have a home, both my Husb and I have jobs, we have our health...so many things to be grateful for when there is so much suffering right here in the States, in Florida, here in Sarasota/ Bradenton, where we do a good job of covering up our problems with relative weath. 

No doubt courage is needed at this time.

We have serious issues in the world that are approaching a level that seems insurmountable. I don't believe they are insurmountable. But still, we all know that perception is everything. It's really a time for us to step forward and be courageous--accepting new realities and changing those that are unacceptable; making personal choices that reflect our deepest convictions; and keeping a positive, hopeful stance toward people and our planet, even when it seems most difficult.  (It's so much easier to be sarcastic, isn't it?)

I can think of several inner personal battles that require more courage on my part, and I love the person (or the bickering committee) who waded through millions of theme ideas to come up with this "Let There Be Courage" theme for the year 2010.

If you have two minutes, enjoy this short video of inspirational movie speeches. Although it depicts a little too many war scenes for my liking, "courage" is the prevailing theme. (Oh and don't miss the scenes of Sloth from The Goonies and one of my all time favorites, Dead Poet's Society.)  It reminds me that times requiring great faith in dark hours also present the most opportunity for lasting change, whether it's personal, community-wide, or ocean-crossing.

So how about a glass of champagne today to "Courage": it's what's for dinner. We could all use it this year.

Top 10 Missing Apps on the iPhone

1. An app that generates an additional 2 days for every standard weekend.

2. An app to automatically whisk away songs stuck in your head for more than 3 days, like certain tunes from The Sound of Music, anything from Hall and Oats, and that song that starts out with “Heard it from a friend, who heard it from a frii-eeend who, heard it from another you’ve been messin’ around…”

3. An app connecting my phone to Bono’s. Come on, just give me 5 minutes…okay, 2 tops.

4. An app to turn spammers and computer virus developers into 3 legged spiders with herpes.

5. An app that would immediately let me know exactly how bad it is when Husband starts out a sentence with “Now don’t freak out, but…”

6. An app that is so cool that it is too cool to be called an “app.” I’m so over that word.

7. Obviously, an app to help me predict the future. Why haven’t they thought of this yet?

8. An app that can sense whether a soup of any kind was really made with chicken stock. I’ve got to be careful, okay.

9. Of course, an app to detect whether the person I’m talking to is actually listening, or doing 4-9 other things simultaneously.

10. And finally, an app to tell me the name and location of that Anonymous poster from a while back. Hell no, I’m not still thinking about that. What kind of dweller do you think I am?

What did I miss here?  By the way, I don't even have an iPhone, but feel like I do with the market share of commercials consumed by Apple. For all I know, these could be existing apps.

Gropius Nonprofit Giveaway Results...Mothers Helping Mothers

And the winning comment--chosen by the Random Number Generator, my dears--is comment number 9: Mothers Helping Mothers.   This grassroots nonprofit organization offers baby items, cleaning supplies/personal hygiene products, crisis assistance, clothing from infants through teen sizes including maternity clothes, and shoes. And let me tell you, readers, there is so much need for this right now.

Thanks to Uncommon Blonde for submitting the winning comment, and thanks to you for caring enough to leave your own note about a nonprofit or cause that's dear to your heart. I've checked out the websites and suggestions you left and have loved visiting such diverse areas of charitable passions...all over the world!

If you're looking for some unusual gift ideas that really help your goodness shine, consider these two:

• Network for Good's "Good Card."  Here's how it works: you purchase a Good Card for any amount and your recipient can use it as a donation to the nonprofit(s) of their choice. VERY cool.
  
  
• Alternative Gifts International. Give a gift in honor of someone that changes a life around the world. Choose from humanitarian, environmental, health/ nutrition, women's issues projects, etc.
  

They'll both take good care of you with an e-card or a mailed card to your recipient.

One Totally EASY Thing You Can Do to Reduce Waste

Today I felt like I did a lot around the house but accomplished little, except making a mess. Husband is less than pleased with the way I strung the lights on our back porch.  I'm sure the dog poop in the backyard won't mind the drooping pattern.  (Hardly a dog poop joke, J. Bern, but still I'm keeping your fascination in mind.) 

Husband put up new blinds, I broke a few ornaments and together, we found that more than enough outdoor lights just don't work anymore. So I'm obsessed with where all of the old and/or broken stuff goes. I'm feeling more and more guilty whenever I throw something away, because I can picture it (multiplied by the same disposables from every American) laying in a miserable landfill somewhere.

I received a short rainbow of light from Sarasota Audubon Society today when they posted a great blog on how to eliminate your phone book mailings. (If you're reading a blog and you don't use the Internet to find phone numbers, it could be time for a serious change for you.)  Here's what I swiped from their blog:

With the internet & electronic phone books, you may want to “opt out” of receiving a phone book on your front porch. In the USA alone the 540 million directories represent: 19 million trees for paper; 1.6 billion pounds of paper waste; 7.2 million barrels of oil (not including delivery); 268,000 cubic yards of landfill; 3.2 billion kilowatt hours of electricity consumption.

It’s not always easy to opt out and you may have to verify your request annually with each directory provider since these companies collect advertising dollars for every book they give away. Here are a few resources:

• Verizon (800) 888-8448 (press 2)
• Yellowbook (800) 929-3556 (press 3)
• The Real Yellow Pages (866) 326-7200 (press 0) (or just click here)

It only takes a few minutes and feels pretty good. Plus, no more huge and skanky phone books taking up space on your shelves.

Creative Job Hunting

It's no news that jobs are scarce these days. And although some employers are still hiring, for every job out there, it seems that thousands apply. Experienced professionals are forced to go for entry level positions, and even those are difficult to land. Hmm...looks like I picked the right time to have graduated from college 10 years ago. Can't even imagine what new graduates folks feel like.

An interesting job hunting tactic was displayed at an event I attended today.

An unemployed marketing professional had purchased an event sponsorship, and at her display table, she kept a stack of resumes, a professional sign announcing her candidacy for open positions and a night for two at the Ritz Carlton available to the person who made the introduction to her next employer. At each place setting, she had a bag of roasted peanuts in the shells with a note "In a nutshell, I'm looking for a job."  The hand written note also said "To do: Call ___ at (XXX-XXX) to talk about employment." 

Pretty creative, you've got to admit.

[Afterthought: It's been pretty tough lobbying for date nights. Married women REALLY need them. (Yes, PLRH, it's true.) I am totally going to steal this idea for home. I'll just post some resumes about my qualifications as a date and leave a bag of peanuts (though yes, they'll have to be boiled for husband) with a note declaring "In a nutshell, I'm just looking for a freaking date night with you, Husband."    Think that'll work?]

Redheads Will One Day Rule the World

Here’s a Gropius family car conversation from a couple weekends ago:

• D-Man: “Did you know there are only 2 million redheads in the entire world? They’re disappearing.”
  
• Husband: “I heard that one day redheads will be bred out of the human species.”
  
• Gropius [in head]: “Nice. Trying to get rid of me the old fashioned way: genetically. And P.S., this whole conversation is just a little scary for more than one reason.”
  

So I did a little follow up online and can report through secret Internet sources that there are more like 65 million of us globally, with the largest redhead percentage in the populations of Scotland, Ireland and Wales, respectively. Hm. What a surprise.

And bad news, fam, redheads will not die out unless we simply stop breeding with people who carry that recessive trait. I did find some interesting thought processes going on in blogs and forums re: the “Will redheads die out” question—no doubt one of the most stirring dialogues of our time. Some of them include:

“Ginger kids scare me.” Reply: As they should. We’ll get you. And one day, we’ll take over.

“Does God hate me because I’m a redhead?” Answer: Look, I’d love to answer, but I’ll defer to the Redhead Upstairs.

“Redhead girls are the hottest…after Asian girls” Answer: SECOND hottest? Must be a blonde talking.

BTW, I'll dedicate this post to you, PLRH, one of my fellow redheads. Congrats on your blog award!!!!

The Wish List

Husband had neatly laid out his kayaking gear to dry. Milliseconds (I'm sure) before the last bead of moisture was hoisted into the air by the burning sun, the lightening struck and a mini-monsoon began. After just 15 minutes of rain, our street is a river, our yard looks like the Everglades during rainy season, and somewhere off in the oak tree a Mockingbird dares to sing.

With all of the beautiful images we have at arm's length in the ever changing environment of our microcosm in Florida, travel--even just the ongoing idea of it--is one of my favorite money sinks and visualizations to keep motivated. This afternoon, I decided we need a wish list. It's not fashioned in the deeply rooted bucket list style, partitioning out everything we want to accomplish to be whole and satisfied individuals. No. This time, we're in need of a little dreamin'. I'm not ashamed of the unlofty nature of it.

In addition to some specific destinations on the list (Ireland, Costa Rica, and what the hell--another visit to Australia would be nice), I'm adding all of the "things" we talk about on a regular basis that aren't immediately accessible, like aaah, a new kitchen. Husband likes to mentally travel through food preparation, a past time which I don't share and most likely never will. (Getting water to boil is about the extend of my culinary talents.) But it's his thing. I support it fully.

So to be ultra anal about it, I divided the list into "big" things for the next 5 years and smaller ones, those that are attainable in the pretty short term if we set our priorities straight. Already, I'm loving it. When you're clear about what you want instead of randomly announcing it over and over again in an unfocused cloud of half-intention, it'll happen, right?

So Gropius readers, what's on your wish list? Thanks, National Geographic. I did usurp your Ireland photo.

The Power of Spontaneity

I'm so lacking in a healthy dose of spontaneity these days. It's the built-in routines embedded by work and responsibilities along with the minutia of daily requirements that stand in the way of randomness.

Ever find that as you get older, the regularity of your existence increases with such stealth that you don't realize how "schedulized" things are... until pretty soon, you know exactly what's coming every 7 am through 10 pm? The only variable becomes the dreams your sleep will conjure. And more often than not, they're nothing you remember because you're too damn tired.

With this, I cannot tell you how totally refreshing it was to take off from the professional development conference in Boca Raton on Monday with a group of girls and make the random, sudden decision to drive to Miami and have a little South Beach adventure. With four of us in the car, we each had a slightly different reaction to the trip's interesting side steps, which introduced humor, candid conversation and camaraderie. Sound cheesy? It totally wasn't.

Sure, we saw the usual assortment of freaks, but nothing really surprising. We didn't do anything your grandmother wouldn't do, but the unplanned journey was funny, only slightly dangerous at times and off the original map for the day. Holy Pete, I appreciated that.

Now before the powers of "ask and thou shall receive" come down to provide a set of tragically unexpected events, let me confirm that I appreciate GOOD spontaneity. Seriously. I'm not asking for anything big. Just a reminder every once in a while that I'm not a victim of routine.

Wonder Wheel

It's literally been 16 years since I've seen the Wonder Wheel in downtown Sarasota. Every so often (usually in transport to to the Main Bar), we would spot a man with a slight figure peddling down the street in the middle of two 10 foot Amazon bicycle wheels. A very strange sighting. Any Gropius reader who also bore witness to this spectacle will receive a lifetime membership to the blog. (Later, I'll figure out what that means.)

I was reminded of the Wonder Wheel on Saturday as a very bored young man--on his last day of "groundation"--tried to keep himself amused. Kids. They'll find anything to play with. Especially the imaginative ones who dream up interesting ways to get in trouble to begin with.

Gotta give 'em credit.

Things That Should Be Illegal

Here's my short list. What am I missing here?

1. Television "documentaries" covering what-if analyses of asteroids hitting the earth. Please. Another one was on last night. For one hour, it continued to show something that looked like a giant baked potato hurling toward the earth. The rest of the program consisted of a series of interviews with college professors interlaced with real footage of fire and waves. Should be illegal. There are plenty of things to scare us about that we can actually change.

2. Mustaches. No further explanation required.

3. NOT owning a Ped Egg. Oh man, they're the best. Everyone should have one. How can you not have one after seeing the satisfaction of grating your feet portrayed on commercials?

4. Ever seen those rims that keep spinning when cars are stopped at traffic lights? They should be illegal. Ugly, distracting, so unnecessary.

5. Grocery store check out cashiers analyzing your purchases. My gosh. Someone at the store on Manatee Ave literally makes a commentary on every third item that she scans. I've learned to avoid her check out line. So has everyone else. Her line will be clear of anyone, when every other line is stacked 3-4 people thick.

6. Pennies. Seriously...one cent? Can we PLEASE move past this? I would pay four cents more for anything to avoid the penny. No offense, Abe Lincoln.

and finally,

7. "Wife beater" tank tops. I just feel like sleeves are necessary for the male sex when in public. Or if men must wear tank tops, wear the kind without huge arm holes. It's just not right. ILLEGAL.

Branding of the Swine Flu: OMG

It's terrible, just terrible, but the name "Swine Flu" inspires a bit of humor. Growing up, we used to call our yellow lab "The Filthy Swine" after he would take an unexpected dip in the pool and roll in the grass--wet and disgusting--with an air of delightful narcissistic satisfaction. Is that why I find it so funny? Not sure.

But really, world health officials, REALLY. Before you name the next pandemic, can you think a little more strategically? The planet will have to hear its name repeated billions of times over, and we need to think this thing out clearly.

Take hurricanes for example. Every year, scientists comb through the alphabet to choose designations for anything that hits over 39 mph, and they plan this "hot list" well in advance. Most of the names are boring, but they're prepared! I see we have an Odette for this year. Hmm.

Of course the Swine Flu was a big topic in this week's Spanish class at work. Senior informed the class of the correct pronunciation of the virus: "Gripe Porcina." Much classier than Swine Flu. I'm going to start using it.

Another thought: Gripe Porcina could have assumed the name of my first roommate in college, who was a rude and disgusting person. I have spared her name here. Who knows what those crazy bloggers can do to one's life online. Your Swine Flu thoughts?

The Office Weight Loss Challenge

All of us at work are trying to drop a few pounds, and we decided to harvest the power of peer pressure to accomplish the goal. So we formed a little "club," each put in $20, and weigh in on Monday mornings for 8 weeks. At the end of the period, whoever lost the most (measured in percent of body weight lost) will receive the collective dinero.

The original idea was that you would use the money for new clothes, but I'm thinking that better motivation will be the guilt factor. If I can remember those who don't have enough to eat each time I'm thinking of going too far with the chips and dip, I will put them down. And I can donate the money that I win to a hunger related charity of my choice...if I can be firm enough with myself to win.

Just when I was thinking this was the greatest idea for me, one of our group members mentioned a better motivator. If I lose, I have to write a check in the amount I would have won to Rush Limbaugh. Oh man, that's some serious motivation, or anti-motivation...however you want to look at it.

Facebook Status Lines: We Can Do Better Than This

I'd like to challenge all of you Gropius readers out there to get a little more creative with your status lines on Facebook to make things more interesting. It might involve a bit of guts, but we can do it, troops! Here are some examples:

• Gropius Jones is not sad that Marjorie North retired. She was mean and snotty to the masses, and I've never understood her methods for determining what fits "her beat."
• Gropius Miller is planning a food fight at the Bijou Cafe. Be there at 8 pm tonight.
• Gropius Smith would like to tell you that if you've ever settled with "Gropius is" as your status, you're not that original.
• Gropius Frangie would like to purchase the molar sculpture from last year's bayfront art display and drop it on top of anyone who mentions a spring training team in Sarasota again. Can't you move on?

Consider it the Gropius challenge. And if you're not already on Facebook, for the love of Mike, do it today. It's a handy tool that promises to push the human boundaries of procrastination when you have a cleaning project, a work assignment or other looming obligation.

I've Discovered Victoria's Secret...

There are actually three choice secrets involved:

1. Getting bitch slapped and feeling very confused afterward, pulling your tasselled hair...or
2. Eating Chinese or Mexican food until you're just on the verge of vomiting...or
3. Watching The Exorcist a bunch of times until you know how to look, act and feel possessed.

....and then you get your picture taken!

These head shots were clipped straight from the models of Victoria's Secret. I've always found the facial expressions hilarious.

I think I'm going to try this the next time I get a professional photo taken of the family or for work. What do you think?

One Eyed Billy

If you're looking for something different to do outdoors, stop on by Myakka Stables just west of the Myakka State Park entrance on Clark Road. For $30, you will enjoy a relaxing horseback trek through sandy oak hammocks dappled with saw palmettos, zipping dragonflies and birdy chatter. Be sure to ask for One Eyed Billy.

Today I took the young man and my sister-in-law out for this favorite shared activity. (We left husband at home, who experienced a life-altering "almost" moment on a horse this summer in the mountains.) We feasted on the venture of our 1 hour trip all by ourselves--that's right people, there's no trail guide along for this one.

I was aboard Nugget, a no-nonsense sort of horse who had one mission in life: getting back to the stables. My sis-in-law was on a horse who often stood still and refused to move. And son D-Man was the rider of Billy, a one-eyed horse who still had quite a bit of "feisty" left in him, despite his old age. Although each of our equine carriers had very different paces and were stubborn as hell in terms of syncing with each other, we had a great trip. It's all part of the adventure.

If you can get past the sketchy appearance of the welcoming barn (with a fan that's melted downward like a dying flower and a ripped couch that looks like it's been recovered from a nuclear war), you're more than half way to a great mini-voyage into Florida nature.

Billy has probably seen a lot in his day, although he's not seeing anything out of that right socket anymore. Visit him and ask him to take you for the walk you've always dreamed of. He's waiting for you at the stables.

Here's the Story: It's a Time for Thinking

Earth looks amazingly cool from space.

On this Christmas Eve, content to have worked half the day and to be listening to the Swiffer spewing floor cleaner and the dryer squeaking as it warms the sheets, I feel good about life and am glad to be home. And oh so thankful to have what I have.

There's always been a feeling of happiness and contentment on this holiday, one of the few times of the year when I allow myself to forget about work and obligations. Usually, there's also a twinge of guilt about all of the abundance in my life when so many people around the world are lacking in basic necessities. This year that feeling is much different. These aren't just "people around the world," they're people right here.

It's a time for thinking. Re-evaluating what's important and making sure I'm contributing enough things that matter to the larger, fragile spectrum of life--life right here.

Isn't it easy to get caught up in frivolous details that mean nothing in the grand scheme of life? Makes us forget to live with the basic mission of making things better for anyone we can. Sometimes you have to step back a little and see things from a distance to realize you're off the mark and need to come back to the source.

Merry Christmas. Give yourself the gift of committing to one new thing that will make the world a little nicer. I'm going to start volunteering at the Food Bank & bringing the tween along to see how good a little service is for the soul.