Words

What is it with me some days, finding the most mundane things funny or amusing? I ask this question and love the answer: any day I can laugh or be amused, it's a good thing. So here's what's making me snicker today: it's a few words.

Someone used the word "boilerplate" today and it made me laugh. Isn't that a disgusting word? Of course it makes me think of "boils," those horrible giant infected-looking lumps.

At an IT conference in the fall, everyone kept using the word "robust." Over and over again I heard this word. It was crazy. And it was all to describe boring software applications...and occasionally hardware. I was about to crack up.

Here's a word a friend used last week: "extemporaneous." It reminded me of the Steve Martin movie Roxanne (you know, the one where the usually big-nosed fireman falls in love with Darrell Hannah and convinces her that another fireman is writing her poetry). He would use big words that the jock fireman didn't understand, and one of those words was "extemporaneous," which formed a hilarious scene in which he referred to the night as "extemporaneous." Oh yes, it's all coming back to you now, right?

What words do you love, hate or laugh at? I know you have some.

I'm Getting a Little Creeped Out

If you know me, there's no doubt in your mind that I'm a big lover of reptiles (the real kind, not politicians). But when our news is filled with stories about escaped and thriving pythons, iguanas, tegus (look it up) and other scaled creatures from faraway lands...right here in Sarasota/ Bradenton...I get a little creeped out.

Of course the takeover first came to light for most of us when that debatable photo of an exploded python with alligator was released. We all learned that python pets-no-more are filling the glades, reproducing and taking names. It's pretty serious when you think about all of the native species that are being taken out. And personally, I really don't want to come across a python big enough to take a gator when I'm out trail blazing.

Now we know there are iguana invaders all over our islands and keys, gobbling up native birds, native herps and basically anything the right size. And they're really hard to catch (I mean the lizards).

According to this recent article in the Bradenton-Herald, a 10 foot python and tegu were recently captured (escaped pets) and provided to a local wildlife rescue organization for educational purposes. A quote from the article about the rescue org. representative: "Not only has he provided a home for both of them, but the snake now has a name too. We think Crosby the snake will be very happy in his new environment. "

Point #1: Yes, I'm happy Crosby is in a new environment too. Reptile owners, can you please be more responsible? With the number of iguanas running around on our islands and pythons taking over, there's a serious limit to orphanages for them, once captured--if captured.

Point #2: I'm intrigued by what this snake's name was before it was captured. I'm guessing it wasn't something like GW the snake, Fuzzy, or Henry. It must have been something really baaaad. Bradenton-Herald, please do a better job of answering the questions we want to know. Do I hear follow-up?

What? Ringling Bridge Keeps Its Name?

The newest buzz around Sarasota is reflected with sighs of relief...The John Ringling Bridge shall keep its name, and will not, thank you very much, be changed to the Gil Waters Bridge. (For those of you who have moved on from southwest Florida life, check this article out fom the H-T.)

I have to say, this disappoints me very much. Not because I was a big proponent of Gil Waters stealing the show, but because this was a prime opportunity to give this town a little character. Does EVERYTHING have to revolve around the Ringlings?

How about any of these?

• Peewee's Playhouse Bridge. Don't forget folks, Peewee Herman put us on the map those many years ago. I was just as disgusted as anyone to hear the news of his...inappropriate choice...but when I moved here 15 years ago, everyone was still saying, "You know this is the place where Peewee Herman exposed himself."


• The Jerry Springer Bridge. After all, a primary feature of this structure is being the connector piece to Bird Key. And why would you go to Bird Key unless it was to drop in on our favorite local celebrity, Jerry Springer?


• The Bradentucky "Eat This" Bridge. We all know that a secondary reason for this bridge's birth was to top Bradenton. "Bradenton, your crappy bridges and basically all of your features are no match for what the sophisticated and posh Sarasota community has to offer."


• Schleif Dog Bridge (please, correct me on the spelling), as a tribute to Neil, who has shaped the minds of so many young literature students in the Sarasota County school system. I don't care what anyone says, I loved your class.

I'm so open to your suggestions. And I KNOW if you're reading this, you have some of your own. Let's hear them.

One last comment...Did you catch this in the H-T article? "Waters said Monday that the fight for the bridge and the tussle over the renaming were classic examples of local civics. 'That has been the story of Sarasota,' Waters said. 'Nothing is simple and you have to fight for what you feel is right. And it's a treasure that was worth the fight.'" So true, Gil, so true.

The Competition Begins

Not even a month ago, a new edition was brought "into the circle." A young kitty named...oh with no name. The young beast was welcomed as a new addition into the home of the man known as Skunk Ape, Ramsey Frangie. Three weeks later, the kitten was nearing his new identity: the identity based on famous architect Gropius, AKA Mr. G, alias Ferocius G, etc.

Today while talking to PR Goddess M. Wells, I realized that the one who I supposed was the biggest supporter of this new flambouyent and hilarious name...was actually an advocate for another choice, "Eddie."

Mind you, after she explained the name originated from Edward Scissorhands (as the young kitty has grown to enjoy attacking Ramsey at night with its freshly growing claws), I understood. I also favored her argument that any self-respecting woman to enter the bachelor pad might be suspicious of the nickname "Gropie." Who is this man? And what creepy secret might I not be aware of?

So, Eddie became a more understandable choice.

Yet driving home, I continued the mental fight. Does Ramsey need the kind of woman who understands the insane and bizarre humor of a name like "Gropius?" Of course. This could be a filter of sorts for potential mates. "What?" "You don't think Gropius is really funny? Well, it was nice to meet you. Have a nice life."

Gropius vs. Eddie. This cat needs a name. What name will come out the winner in this epic battle of ginormous proportions?