Somewhere in the details of life, relationships, work and the daily routines of opening mail, making obligatory phone calls, getting groceries--we forget that death is imminent. Our loved ones will not be with us forever. Our own lives are so tenuous they could end without warning at any minute. Perhaps we simply choose not to think of this often. For if it invaded our thoughts too frequently, we'd be paralyzed in that form of separation and would forget to live.
There are circles of people with whom you just feel fortunate to be associated. It's not because of outward prizes they have attained through profession or decorated accomplishment; it's because of who they are--rare souls who understand what a friend is and who are there for each other through all joys, all sadness.
A fine graphic designer who has provided services for our organization for so many years suddenly lost her husband at the age of 53 this week. Leading the ship of his unexpected departure through the lightest and most calm waters possible has been a mutual friend, who for years has been generously nurturing of me on a professional and personal basis. Friday, this friend of endless composure and presence received word at a luncheon that her own father had passed.
Even with this most personal loss, she stood at the pulpit with her whole family during Saturday's funeral. She shared their 25 year friendship with the Hritz's and all it has meant to them. Can you imagine the joy of having the privilege to know someone who could be so strong and courageous to be there for her friend--now a widow--after entering a new world without a living father, less than 24 hours before? Her words were eloquent, soothing. Authentic and beautiful in her love for who he was, with a comfort that encircled everyone. And there wasn't a trace of her own personal grief to show for it. It was absolutely selfless.
That's a friend who many do not experience.
I realize my own fortune, a living fortune embraced by those who are still with me in life. The others are facing empty beds, the formality of services and the lines of those waiting to receive them with sympathy. Even in my own gratitude, I know death isn't something any one of us will or can ever escape.
It's been a weekend filled with sadness. I think of the beautiful Hritz family, two teenagers in high school another young man in college--all of them amazing human beings--now without that man they so admired and loved at their disposal in the mornings, evenings and weekends. I can understand a fraction of what they are experiencing, knowing that at least for a while, they cannot communicate in that direct and concrete way with husband and father the way they're used to.
What else is buried here in this grief? It's true, I try to live completely but I feel sadness too at my missed opportunities, imperfect relationships and time lost. I hope the great bravery of these friends will help me more frequently choose peace over being right, loving action over fleeting frustration.
It really is the collection of so many small things that forms our lives and that contributes to the happiness or detriment of those around us we love the most. Angels are all around, living and watching over us. I give the deepest thanks to have such inspiration and hope that I have the sense to keep it close to heart while the people I love are here.
Thinking of you, Erin and Harriet, with lots of love. I am here for you if there is anything you need.
12 comments:
So sorry for all of those affected by such loss. Friends like these are rare and precious
Such a lovely post! I think it IS important to be grateful for every second of an existence shared. In my work, I meet many many people, and I always presume that I will never see any of them again. It makes every interaction with them that much more "real." I apply the same rule to my own relatives and friends. You never know when the conversation you're having with them now will be the last you have together.
Such an eloquent reminder. Love, friendship, service to others make this old world a better place. We won't mourn for missed opportunities, we'll go out there and make them happen. Peace.
So eloquently said. It's all about love...in the end, those are your riches.
True, we can't outrun the inevitable death that awaits us all. Sad especially when it comes at such an early age. My thought are with you and your friends.
Friends like that are rare and so special.
We are all richer for having friends like these in our lives.
I am in awe of the strength and compassion of that friend. That was such an unselfish gift she gave. I wish them both peace and comfort at this time.
Eloquent post. You are fortunate to have such wonderful friends. You live life with intention, just as we should.
What lovely thoughts and remembrances. Your colleague sounds like the kind of individual I aspire to become. Thank you for sharing.
My friends were fantastic when Stephen died. I could never have gotten through those first two years without them.
What a beautiful post. It moved me. Thank you.
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