I drove home today, got in the door, put my stuff down and all I could think of doing was cleaning obsessively. It helped to restore some sense of order I guess.
I have more in my life to be grateful for than 99% of the world's population, I have good health and a good family. What's left to be upset about and how dare I go there? I'm not a pity party girl.
But I've been chewing on some things for quite a while now. I've been patient. And I've continued to do what I think is right and just.
A culmination of unresolved crap, with new crap piled on top has me spinning. Really, it all boils down to integrity and the lack of it in people who should have it. We should all have integrity, but certain people in certain positions are expected to have it more than others.
I'm not one to consider myself a victim--I'm pretty bold and don't have a problem stating my convictions.
But I've been taken advantage of and misled in several instances lately, and it's the trust I've had in people that has left me exposed. Was there reason not to trust them? No. Have they been called on their bluffs? Kind of. The consequence? Nothing for them. For me, lots of frustration and an overwhelming sense of injustice. I've upheld my part of the bargain. I've already done what's been asked of me.
I have a "Don't forget your sense of humor" mantra around me, but there isn't a funny side.There's nothing to laugh at.
Look, I know it will all work out. I'm one of those firm believers in "everything happens for a reason."
I'm just less than thrilled with how it's all working out at this moment.
And although this blog is my own, it can be dangerous at a time like this. Oh what I would love to say! But we all have our peeking readers, waiting to expose us. They would crack me up if I wasn't so agitated. When there's work and responsibility, you can't always afford to put your words in writing just as you'd like them.
Glad I can sound off, even if partially. Husband's been a great listener and advocate. I've had other advocates too. And I'm so grateful for them. They rock. Now that I've gotten a bit of it out, we can chill out and watch the idiot box for a while. The Office is on tonight. Always puts me in a funny space.
13 comments:
I am so sorry that the world has been disappointing of late. I know that feeling. Also the feeling of really wishing a blog was as "all our own" as we'd like...oh, the unexplored facets that could spice up certain posts! But...I suppose that sort of writing is the sole domain of the old fashioned pen and paper diary--the kind with a lock and key.
I hope things start looking up soon!
I watched the idiot box too, but not The Office. It was the Minnesota Twins moving one game closer to meeting the Rays in July. And getting beat by the Orioles was a frustrating, humiliating experience that caused me to question the integrity of some professional decision-making people too. But I know tomorrow will be a better day. Join me in that. :>)
haha... I love The Office, even the American version
I haven't really given the American 'Office' a chance. Hope your teeth-gritting at irritational people and their contemptible actions has relieved the annoyance factor somewhat.
I hope you have a fabulous weekend!
sending hugs - sounds like you're managing some conflict and it is really causing a lot of frustration. I'm so sorry. But still - wishing you a happy mother's day!
The older I get, and I'm getting there fast, the more I understand that life is just an uncontrollable roller coaster. Like the real thing, you have the choice as a passenger to scream like hell...vent a ton of emotion and change nothing...OR, you can sit back, accept the ride for being just what it is, and laugh because in doing so you actually beat the designers of that metallic nightmare.
About half of all days aren't pretty...and about half are better than average. Once in a while there is a take your breath away moment that gets you going forward again.
My advice, as the old man on the street, is to smile and take a deep breath, ride the ride, and step off the winner.
Ditto Wiener. It's a hell of a hard thing to do but once you get there its a huge load lifted. Have a great weekend.
BTW, good idea not to get personal on the blog. Opinions yes, anger at a someone you know, no.
Not to worry...I don't get angry...least of all on a blog (I leave that for the people who hear voices) and this is about as personal as I get.
Thank you for the well-intentioned advice. Have a great weekend.
Hope things work out soon enough for you and all the frustration goes away. Actually, even if I don't know what happened I can stil really relate to this post - I really do know what an "overwhelming sense of injustice" feels like. Hang in there!
This, too, shall pass, my friend...
*hugs*
May their crotches be infested with the fleas of a thousand camels, and may their arms be too short to scratch!!!!!
I'm sorry you've been abused! I always trust that proper karma will visit the revenge upon the person who did the abusing. Then you can smile and enjoy the schadenfreude as you please.
I love the way you write. It's fun to get as much as you can off your chest, without being vituperative and naming names. I do the same.
The "captcha" is "prized" today. That's what your writing is. Prized.
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