It finally hit me the other day. I am now at the "no other choice" stage in removing myself from the ongoing activity and clutter I have managed to establish as part of the weekly ritual. I've filled my life with them out of choice. Mostly for the right reasons, but with careful analysis, I see that in some cases, these activities have been a diversion and a "proving myself" exercise that is silly and futile.
I've cemented these things right into my identity. How I see myself and judge myself has been defined by how much I'm doing.
For years, I've served on two nonprofit boards, a multitude of committees, spent excessive amounts of time working at home, and rush from one thing to the next. There are many people who do this, who do even more. As for me, I've enjoyed much of it. But I'm burned to a crisp. Seriously burned out.
Once the realization came to me, I've felt both liberated and frozen. It's hard to stop doing things you both enjoy and are dedicated to. But I moved forward and let both boards know I'm stepping down. It felt good to say it. I'm choosing my commmittees carefully and am making a habit of saying no to what "paid" work I can't accomplish during the work day.
Crowd sourcing is going to work out just fine. When you step away, it makes room for other ideas and other people to dedicate their time and talents. The space I'm making for myself is both necessary for my sanity and inspirational in terms of provding a clear direction for me answering the "what's next?" questions that are important to consider.
I thank those invisible, nurturing forces that guide us for helping me get to this point safely and for all of the opportunity I have been afforded.
16 comments:
I have a heck of a time saying no, so I can really appreciate your taking a step back for yourself!
A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do
There are only so many directions you can be pulled in at once. You are doing the right thing. Good luck and best wishes.
My post set for Tues is on just that...the liberation of learning to say no...pricelss!
A worthy and vital course of action. It's OK to say "No". The time you devote to multiple causes, no matter their missions, you won't get back. Enjoy the stillness!
Oh how much do I love this post! I totally know the feeling only my situation is kind of minor compared to yours. Every once in a while I'll start ruching msyelf to do more and more and more stuff, then some time later I burn out and have to say no to certain things. Then I live my life in a slower and mellower manner and start missing being busy and involve msyelf in all I can only involve myself... Then the cycle repeats. I'm trying to learn now to balance it all out nciely at all times, because a few last times that "burning out" was kind of major... One caused 2 months worth of doctor appointment, so yes, be careful there and get all teh rest you need! It truly is important to say no sometimes!
P.S. Hope you enoyed that Wild Russia programme! And Egypt is indeed amazing, so much history, so much culture in every piece they left behind!
Gropy...Just the natural rebalancing of the ying and the yang in your life. Time is fleeting, priorities often get jumbled...and it is altogether too easy to find that suddenly, you are giving more than you've really got to give.
Congratulations to you for the revelation. It won't be the first time in this long life that it is likely to occur!
[APPLAUSE]
What a wonderful insight, and new phase of your life.
Some applicable Chinese fortune cookies from my cookie jar:
"You are not what you do."
"A new insight will lead you to a happier you."
"There is more than one way to achieve your goals in life".
Notary sojac.
Smokey Stover
Way to go! My darling wife had the same issue, years ago, and it's happening again to her now. People recognize her as a natural leader and expert, and she keeps getting volunteered for things. But she's gotten very good at saying no. And the things that she does get sucked into, she does for a year or two, always with the intention that she will eventually get tired of it and stop. And she does.
It's hard for overachievers like us not to let ourselves get burnt out in the sunny glare of the community spotlight. But I'm glad you found that line, and you're deliberately stepping back across it to the quieter, shadier part.
Me, I segregate all my effort into work versus home. I work, or I do housework. I don't do anything community-ish. If and when I retire, I can do community junk. But for now, the community can get along fine without me.
I went through that "life cleaning" a few years back after I'd found myself buried in outside commitments, too. You're right that you need to free space up for new ideas and experiences to enter your life. Good for you.
Good for you! This became a necessary exercise for me when I was pregnant and I remember how weird (and good) it felt to have less on my plate.
Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. I am glad you are creating space to grow, change and become--it's a very good thing, indeed.
good for you - moving through change is not for the faint of heart. So much of what we do every day of our lives is essentially habit - we do it because we did it yesterday and the day before and the day before... But change. That's a big deal. Resetting boundaries and priorities. Making choices for reasons that matter to you now. yay!!!! You rock!!
Hey, at least you figured it out now before you lost your mind and went nuts.
Doing nothing allows something else to enter, someting we might never have thought of or considered.....something interesting will come out of this.
Looking forward to seeing what it will be.
Did crowd sourcing include no more blogging? We miss you ...
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