Top 10 Missing Apps on the iPhone

1. An app that generates an additional 2 days for every standard weekend.

2. An app to automatically whisk away songs stuck in your head for more than 3 days, like certain tunes from The Sound of Music, anything from Hall and Oats, and that song that starts out with “Heard it from a friend, who heard it from a frii-eeend who, heard it from another you’ve been messin’ around…”

3. An app connecting my phone to Bono’s. Come on, just give me 5 minutes…okay, 2 tops.

4. An app to turn spammers and computer virus developers into 3 legged spiders with herpes.

5. An app that would immediately let me know exactly how bad it is when Husband starts out a sentence with “Now don’t freak out, but…”

6. An app that is so cool that it is too cool to be called an “app.” I’m so over that word.

7. Obviously, an app to help me predict the future. Why haven’t they thought of this yet?

8. An app that can sense whether a soup of any kind was really made with chicken stock. I’ve got to be careful, okay.

9. Of course, an app to detect whether the person I’m talking to is actually listening, or doing 4-9 other things simultaneously.

10. And finally, an app to tell me the name and location of that Anonymous poster from a while back. Hell no, I’m not still thinking about that. What kind of dweller do you think I am?

What did I miss here?  By the way, I don't even have an iPhone, but feel like I do with the market share of commercials consumed by Apple. For all I know, these could be existing apps.