Becoming My Grandmother

I'll never forget the fateful trip to Greenville, North Carolina for my parents' high school reunion.

I was in elementary school, probably in 6th grade, and that would have placed my brother in 3rd grade. I had been dying to see Dirty Dancing of course. With my parents gone for the evening, it was the perfect opportunity for Grandmother to take us to the movies. The two hours we would spend together with Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey would form the basis for a lifetime of hilarity.

Not believing the "dirty" dancing scenes of Dirty Dancing proved to be the tip of the proverbial iceberg. After that, there were other things to worry about, like sex. The line my grandmother uttered loud enough for everyone in three rows to hear has lived on in stories ever since...

(Say in deep Southern accent) "If there is one more suggestive scene, we are leaving this theater!"

I remember silence on the way home. The next day was filled just as much with talk of who was fat, who never married, etc. as it was filled with Grandmother uttering her disbelief at the inappropriateness of Dirty Dancing. Grandmother wasn't the type to keep bringing something up, but you could tell it continued to bother her.

Fast forward 23 years, and I am becoming my Grandmother.

I literally cannot believe the crap in movies "these days." (Ah yes, another Grandmother phrase.) And it's nothing that enhances the plot. The rampant violence, sex, disgusting language (not used a few times for emphasis, but in literally every other line) are unbearable.  Most of it is senseless--there's literally no reason for it.

We took the D-Man (now 14) with us to see a PG-13 film recently, and among other things I would have chosen not to expose D-Man to, I counted at least 5 references to oral sex in the language. Everyone laughed, and while that may be okay for adult humor, is that something you want to hear your 14 year old laughing at?! I was completely embarrassed and in the spirit of Grandmother almost stood up and shouted, "If there is one more reference to oral sex, we are leaving this theatre!"

I felt like a terrible parent for not checking out the movie more thoroughly before going.  It's not that I'm living in a freaking box. But I am ultra-sensitive to the fact that what is portrayed on television and in movies is perceived as "the norm" and "acceptable" by young audiences. That's how behavior is modeled, and of course, it's what's cool.

He needs to know all about sex, drugs, alcohol, and to a greater extent, he'll be making decisions about those things on a regular basis. But seeing them treated so irreverently in movies doesn't contribute to the cause.

D-Man wants to go to a PG-13 movie with his friend today, and of course I'm thinking "Today's PG-13 is like way beyond what would have been in the last decade's rated R. What the heck is in this film?" 

I just found a website called Parent Previews, and although I'm not interested in someone else's judgement on what's appropriate and what's not, each movie review lists explicit details about each occurrence of violence, sex, reference to sex and language. I love it because it gives me the chance to make the call--not who is rating movies.

If you have a teen or tween at home, it's a great resource. Even if you want to see if you should waste your money on a movie full of crap just for the heck of it (not because it's part of a compelling story), you should check it out too. http://www.parentpreviews.com/

Sadly, I may have never seen Dirty Dancing if Al Gore was quicker to invent the Internet and spread it around virally back in the late '80's. Grandmother would be writing those reviews herself. I'd hate to see her face if she saw what our middle school audiences were exposed to now.