Peep Eaters & Special K Lovers Beware

Today I saw a commercial suggesting that a bowl of Special K "Chocolatey Delight" cereal is a profoundly satisfying substitute for chocolate ice cream. First the television actress stared at the scrumptious carton in the freezer long enough to burn the image and the idea of ice cream in my mind for the next few hours. Then she turned, smiling, to a bowl of flakes with what looked like rabbit turds in it. Not very effective, Special K marketing execs.


It really gets me thinking about nasty looking foods and how they’re marketed, especially around Easter. So here’s a good SAT question for you:

"Special K Chocolatey Delight" is to "appealing" as "Easter peeps" are to _______.

Edible. The answer is edible.

Frankly, I cannot think of anything more repulsive than a peep.

I hope you still love me after this. Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. The National Geographic Peeps Contest (yes, it's for real--check it out) has inspired me to list the Easter confectionaries that make me want to blow chunks. Among them I cite:

1. Peeps (I'll put them at #1.)

2. Cadbury eggs (What the hell IS that crap in the middle?)

3. Jelly beans (I know, this could classify me as un-American.)

4. Gummy anything (Yes, you are actually consuming fishing lures.)

Maybe it makes me boring, but honestly, I’m just a chocolate girl when it comes to candy. And I just don’t think the damn Special K cereal can substitute.

Unfortunately, another calorie-induced holiday is upon us. I’ll be hanging out on the other side of Florida at my parents' house and hoping this away-from-home Easter (combined with the fact that D-Man is now 13) will diminish my obligatory $30 pocket emptying exercise on the candy aisle. Don’t take it personally, Easter Bunny.

By the way, if you dare to go to the Peeps website, make sure the volume is turned to a moderate level. Flanders is looking at me like “Damn you! It’s loud. It’s annoying. And I’ll never get this out of my head!”

If you make it out of there alive, you will find Peep Fun Facts, Peep Recipes and Crafts, even a Peep Fan Club. Who knew? The one thing you won’t find is a list of ingredients. And how long the human body is naturally preserved after death if you’ve eaten more than 10 Peeps in your life. Mmmmm. Mighty fine thought.

Are you a Peep eater? I want to know.