Not interested. Did you hear that?

Seriously. Stop calling. YESTERDAY.
I get it that times are tough and sales people are operating on overdrive trying to compensate. Whether you’re selling tax services by standing in a Statue of Liberty outfit waving on the street corner or selling yourself as a strong candidate for a job position that’s entertaining 468 resumes, it stinks.

But sometimes they just cross the line by continuing to call and call. And call.

…And call.

I love our IT guy at work—he’s very thorough, documents everything and has a way of writing very long-winded e-mails to explain the minutia of a situation like no one’s business. Today for kicks he shared a couple versions of an e-mail he directed to an overaggressive copier sales person who’s been stalking him. I thought you’d enjoy the original version. Unfortunately, it ended up getting trimmed a bit before sending, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

The company name has been substituted to protect…oh I’m not really sure why, but:

“Hi. I'm currently not interested in meeting with you. If/when we decide to pursue copier pricing options, sometime down the road, I know that [Stalker Copier Co.] is a player in this market segment, and we may or may not call [Stalker Copier Co.] to discuss pricing.

By the way, I've received your numerous voice mail messages, too. I tried returning one of your calls many weeks ago, but it appears that [Stalker Copier Co.] doesn't have an after hours answering machine. If this is case, I highly recommend that you get one as it will improve your customer service. There's nothing more annoying than taking the time to call a company, who's been nagging me nonetheless, and then have the phone ring and ring endlessly so that I have to try to remember to call back at the magic time when I might be graced by someone answering the phone. That turned me off right there. To put the burden on the prospect to have to try and remember to call back at the right time just doesn't sound like a company that's very serious about taking care of people. And heaven forbid that I was a customer trying to place a service call! Now if this is not the case, your answering machine must have been on the fritz the morning that I called back.


One statement in your message below really stands out:


"We don't engage in the high pressure selling tactics for which our industry is renowned."


Are you kidding me? [Stalker Copier Co.] exemplifies the epitome of high pressure copier sales! You've left me message after message. And when you perceived that I didn't attempt to return your call, you tried making a bank shot off of the receptionist. And when that angle didn't work, you tried an end run through the facilities manager. Come on! If high pressure copier sales were a municipality, you would be the mayor (or at least a council member)! Thanks for the chuckle!



Sincerely,


Stalkee



Yeah it’s time to quit. But I have a feeling, she could call again. There are still two days left in this week.