Adventures with the Manatee County School System

Oh, how I love our local school system. Actually, the little guy--who's not so little anymore--has some pretty strong teachers this year. (Except for one of them. Indication #1 was the back to school night when she spent her precious 4 minutes with the parents talking about the mystery of disappearing pencils and paper in last year's class and how annoying that was.)

So here's someone I don't like. She's supposed to be in charge of the "extra" support we need. But what she's really in charge of is excuses. And lame excuses at that. She's like the operator of a wet mop that has collected tons of crap, and instead of cleaning it with fresh hot water, she just continues to smudge the crap around on the floor making no real progress.

I called her today to set up a parent teacher conference.

Line 1 of her response:

"You know, I can't set that meeting up. You need to talk to the office manager, and you'll have to call back in the morning." Not I'll make this happen. Not thank you for being a concerned parent.

Time consumed: 1/4 of our conversation

Translation: "You are a turd for giving me more work to do."

Line 2 of her response:

"You know, ALL of the teachers will have to be at this meeting. You can't just meet with one of them. It will be everyone, all 7 teachers, aaaaall together."

Time consumed: 1/2 of our conversation

Translation: Now this line was clearly aimed at intimidation. She's thinking, "Maybe if I make this pest feel outnumbered, I won't have to be at this meeting and I'll have less work." Wrong, lady. So wrong.

Line 3 of her response, which is really starting to piss me off:

Something along the lines of "You know every teacher has 139 students. There's just no way that teachers can take care of every little detail with 139 students. 139 students is a whole lot of students."

Time consumed: The last 1/4 of this lousy conversation

Translation: This means, "In the grand scheme of things, we couldn't give one little starburst about your student. And don't you even think for one second that he matters...or that I care about the conference that you are evidently going to move forward with despite my best efforts to derail it."

Thanks for the clarity! I'm soooo glad I called. It at least confirms where I stand before the big event. I know you'll look forward to the blog about the parent teacher conference. It's all up to the office manager now.

Is it true?

Is it true that today is only Tuesday? Yesterday felt like an entire week.

I should be grateful that entire weeks are fitting into days, and thus available weeks in my life are multiplying by 5 (since this formula doesn't hold true for weekend days).

I'm working myself up into the mentality of waiting for each weekend to come, hoping the weekdays will run by with lightening speed. I need to cheer up. Here are three small things that would tide me over for now, Powers of the Universe:

• Equip everyone with a WalMart Buddha, as I received yesterday from a local coaching goddess after admiring hers. The paradox of a Buddha from WalMart is a story in itself--a strangely comforting but confounding story. I'll keep it on my desk to signify hope.
  
• A catalogue of all peeing statues in Sarasota. The one pictured here (courtesy of Skunk Ape Photography) is across the street from Zoria's on Main. To the simple passerby, this location is a typical downtown Sarasota scene. To those who take a more careful, studious approach, the location is the site of many an impropriety. One day last year, a bunch of kids had poured detergent in the "toilet" here and suds the height of a 10 story building were emerging. Little did they know that they could just approach this work of art from behind and get a giggle without causing a Level 17 clean up effort.
  
• A new David Grimes Sarasota Curmudgeon blog posting every day. I hate it that you're not writing for the Herald any longer, but David, you're cracking me up on Sarasota Magazine's website.
  

I'm not asking for much. But I need to laugh frequently...and not always at myself.

Myths About Laundry

Husband is pretty darn good about splitting dreaded domestic chores, and in fact, totally indulged me today in my transformation to Bob Vila. (It was time to paint the house trim and shutters...not tomorrow, not next week, but TODAY, and I MEAN NOW!)

Despite all this touchy feely-ness, there are some urban legends to dispel about laundry in our household. Doing laundry is one of the chores that falls under my responsibilities 98% of the time, but on the occasion that I can't get to part of it/ all of it, or am banning it from my weekend altogether, here are the myths I am facing:

• If the laundry just stays there long enough, it will automatically wash itself.
• Pressing "start" on the washing machine = doing the laundry for wife.
• If you remove clothes from the dryer and just mound them on the chair, they will especially not require ironing. And if they do need ironing, they will magically iron themselves and crawl into drawers or onto hangers.
• Wife will not get cross or angry when she wakes up from nap and sees that you have "helped" by piling sad, twisted and monstrous heaps of clean clothes onto the above mentioned chair.

I'm not sure if this is uniquely Sarasota/ Bradenton, but I'm willing to bet it's just "uniquely husband." Thoughts?

Okay, Okay, Hob Nob Was An Oversight

My GOSH. Evidently, a few people were quite perturbed that the recent list of The Most Inspiring did not include Sarasota's landmark drive-in restaurant, the Hob Nob. Although we're still training people to actually post their comments ON Gropius, I've received a phone call and an e-mail or two about the offensive Hob Nob omission, in addition to one comment on the blog itself.

Just to show how remorseful I am, here's a tribute to the much-loved, historic, eat-outside grease joint. I did dine there for lunch today with a group of co-workers. We all agreed how fabulous it was to see so many different types of people there--all sitting on benches, all eating fries and onion rings out of oily paper wrappers.

I freely admit that the Hob Nob grilled cheese with tomatoes rivals any grilled cheese with tomatoes I've ever had. And when our IT guy ordered a chocolate milkshake, he swore we would all be jealous and wish we had made the extra 2 pound commitment as soon as it was delivered; he couldn't have been more right.

And after watching the season premiere of The Office last night, when everyone went on a weight loss rampage (including Kelli, who swallowed a tape worm purchased from Creed), I felt like I was due for some extra calories.

The Hob Nob gave me a chance to soak up the delicious taste of Fall in today's air, while I watched construction workers, Chanel-look alikes with dark glasses and red lipstick, and regular 9 to 5 ers enjoy laughs, catching up and good conversation. It's funny--the food is classic American, but people return for the experience and for the fun of being part of something commonplace yet inclusive.

Have you been to the HN recently? Put it on your list.

Spa Going and the "Whole" Person?

Are you spa-going these days? It seems like they're becoming as abundant as Walgreens and CVS pharmacies. (Although here in Bradentucky, "spa" is a new word, still being dissected and discovered.)

Frankly, I've never been the type to want others touching my face, painting my nails or screwing with my hair. And I can buy my own organic cucumbers to put on my crow's feet. According to an article in yesterday's Sarasota Herald-Trib, "These days, if a spa is not catering to the whole person -- encouraging wellness, stress reduction and mental clarity -- it is probably falling short." Oh really? That's a huge breakthrough! And a great added bonus for spa-goers in today's economically-challenged society.

Two short points:

• Maybe I should reconsider spa-going. I am a poster child these days for needy when it comes to wellness, stress reduction and mental clarity. I don't recall getting that phone call asking me to pose for some glossy spa slicks.


• The economy sucks. If you're still going for regular spa treatments, surely you aren't in a position to be that stressed...at least not compared to the rest of us.

The way I see it, I could have someone trained in manicures and massage tell me how to balance my life for an hour, or I could fill up with gas so that I can get to work this week. Or eat out a couple of times with the fam. This weekend, I think I'll stop by Home Depot, pick up some cheap landscaping stones, microwave them and ask the husband to line them up on my back.

I visited Aspen some years ago and stayed with a psychiatrist. Evidentally, he did have patients there. Yep. People who find stuff to work through emotionally but who don't happen to work, ski 4 times a week and live in the lap of luxury.

Tell me again...why do we have so many spas in Sarasota? And who is going there all the time? Get real!

Fav 5 Most Inspiring

In the interest of getting back to the point, Gropius is initiating a Sarasota/ Bradentucky Fav 5 series with the top 5 inspiring places in our area. Keep in mind that these are today’s musings; who knows how the list could change on another day. Let's begin with 5 and work our way up to the most inspiring:

5. The Florida West Coast Symphony—um, I mean the Sarasota Orchestra (new name, same place). I will confess that I’ve only been twice (thank you very much, Skunk Ape and Coaching Goddess), but it was so inspiring that I’m contemplating the MasterWorks series. Melt into the music and think of swallows flying low over the Celery Fields.

4. Burns Court Cinemas. Did you know that we have some majorly inspiring flicks come our way—independent films that don’t hit the regular box office? You can check them out and support the Sarasota Film Society while you’re doing it.

3. The Sarasota Convention & Visitors Bureau. No really, this place is inspiring, and who says you can't be a tourist in your own town? It’s pretty cool to walk in and see the millions of brochures of the totally amazing museums, performances, tours, services, natural areas, etc. that you can see, do and take advantage of in our little corner of the Universe. It makes me proud to live here.

2. Sarasota Bay Front—especially during the months when we have the giant sculptures and art on display. Whether you care for an obnoxiously huge rendition of a sailor’s kiss, a monstrous molar tooth, an empty picture frame, or the variety of other bizarre interpretations, it's a super place to walk and think about life.

....And the number 1 most inspiring place is…

1. Any Sarasota or Manatee County Park. I guess it’s cheating to speak in such generalities, but I couldn’t possibly choose—Carlton Reserve, Robinson Preserve, Red Bug Slough, Pinecraft Park…there are so many. They’re all pretty cheap too—free as a matter of fact. Although I was going to put my house as #1, since it is, for me a place of recharge (ok, some of the time it is), these awesome natural beauties definitely win on the list of most inspiring. Put them on your to do list. Bring your sweetheart or a friend or a kid.

Did I miss any here? Of course, there’s plenty of fodder. Fill me in.

Word to the Wise, Snappy People: Bite Me

I don't know about you, but I've had enough of smart alecks for the week and it's only Monday. The people in this category include...(all of whom I've encountered recently):

• Folks who get nasty and snippity when they owe you information and don't want to give it to you.
• Elevated egos who are too busy with their all-importance to take stock of the fact that there are others who are living and breathing on the same planet.
• Elevated egos who believe, although there may be others living and breathing on the same planet, that their air is better than yours and therefore they deserve your attention before anything else that may be important to you.
• Angry nurses who don't want to do their jobs and who treat their helpless patients like the doo-doo on the shoe of a slug.
• People who issue quick-tempered responses and blame it on a headache, a period, a bad phone call and any other number of excuses.

If you're feeling a little snappy, go talk to your cat instead. Or bite me.

Freak Spaniel

Sarasota is a land of many dogs, and their owners like to take them everywhere. People think they're bordering on rock star status strolling the downtown Saturday farmer's market with their pooches. Or jogging at City Island with their leashed labs, retrievers and boxers.

I have to admit that I'm a little jealous since Flanders isn't a socialite; we spend our time walking on nature trails since she's a one-family sort of dog. As a former street dog who doesn't trust, there just isn't any room in her life for new people outside the circle.

But there's one dog that adds a whole new meaning to the word "freak." Springer spaniels are hyper and somewhat disjointed by nature. But my parents' young spaniel Katy is off the charts, ladies and gentlemen.

When you first walk into the house, she's choking on her own larynx in excitement, making a frightening gasping noise that alerts you to the fact that something is just slightly off kilter.

After the original excitement of your presence wears off, she sometimes pulls a move called a "run and sweep." Running at the speed of light, she jumps up takes a soft bite at one of your hands and then continues past you. ...Only to turn around and repeat a run and sweep in the other direction. She pulls something similar if you take her for a walk. Except the run and sweeps are aimed at invisible squirrels on either side of the road, far up into the yards of the neighbors.

Katy likes to look at you with an air of calm intelligence--just before lunging at your face to take a "friendly" nip. Her moodiness is unprecedented in the world of dogs; it's catlike in nature. And my mother refers to her as SRB (spoiled rotten bitch) because the dog is, well, a complete snob.

Dressed up in a purebred spaniel hair cut, a leather collar, and a gait that rivals any best-in-show, Katy is ready for the cover of Vogue (in looks, not in lady like behavior). She even has special poop bags to collect the fertilizer she deposits on the too-green lawns in her neighborhood. Publix grocery bags just don't cut it for Katy.

In essence, the SRB spaniel is reason number 2,000 you should get your dog from the pound. I can't imagine this superfreak walking down Main Street on a Saturday morning, or any morning.

Time Out

I'm getting a little personal here tonight. Sometimes I just need to say "Wooooah there!" Let's slow the hell down. Ever find that life becomes a mirage of meaningless details and you lose sight of what's really important?

I find that when I'm driving on U.S. 41 and am overly agitated at the old guy who's had his left turn signal on for a million years and finally swings right...it's usually my sign that it's time to take stock of reality.

Today, a creeping Outlook program at work literally seemed like it would cause the world to end. Someone's flat reply to an enthusiastic "how are you?" was seriously annoying. At home, a knock on the door that triggered the dog into a spiraling barking routine was sooo agitating. And reviewing the same homework assignment 3 times was maddening beyong belief. It's all been a build up.

So taking stock of reality--for me--means getting away from the post-it notes, websites and over-obsessing about moving ahead. It's the reality of what counts. It counts that I'm hanging out on this planet impacting the lives of people around me. I hope it's a positive impact most of the time. And even though I think it is negative and selfish just a tiny part of the time--when I get just a teensy bit frustrated with people who aren't on the same page--that's still too much.

Sometimes, I'm too forgiving of flawed human nature; other times, I'm so tough on myself that I can't move forward with a good sleep.

It sometimes takes a serious incident in life to jolt me back to the frightening and calming reality (all at once!) that you've got to focus on the things that are permanent. Job, position, things, details...they don't count. It's been a weird week so far; some absolutely crazy things have happened to the people around me. The purpose is far greater than just me, but I'm harvesting this opportunity to re-evaluate. ...Humor will return soon to Gropius.

Local Comedy Part 2

Yep. Cops Corner is back with a vengeance in the most recent edition of The Longboat Observer. A few favorites from the real life newsworthy stories of Longboat cops this week...

10:55 p.m. Disturbance.
A drunken man complained to the police that his tenants took his Border collie dog and wouldn't give it back. The tenants, who said their landlord had been bothering them, allowed police to look for the dog. After the dog could not be found, police told the landlord to go home and sleep it off.

Maybe someone told the dog to go sleep it off too?

11:11 p.m. Suspicious vehicle.
Police observed a white Chevrolet Corsica in the Longboat Key Center for the Arts parking lot and felt the car looked out of place.

Longboat Key? Chevrolet Corsica? If it's not a BMW, Mercedes, Volvo SUV or the like, shit yeah, it's out of place!

5:54 p.m. Suspicious person.
Police gave a man a ride to Sarasota after he was found staggering down the road because his friends drove off without him.

Of course! Get that boy off the island and back to the mainland, where drunks and homeless are treated with respect....er um, sort of.

...and my personal favorite (combined with I-certify-I'm-not-making-this-up):

2:19 p.m. Driving Under the Influence.
A man told police "it wasn't his day" after police caught him backing into another car at a beach acecss and discovered a cooler of half drunken beers that had vomit all over them because "the six German beers did not agree with the egg rolls" he had eaten.


No comment.

Good Times at A Taste of Asia

There are some cool finds along Main Street in Sarasota if you're looking for a bite to eat. Both of my visits to A Taste of Asia have not only provided me with excellent grub, but with entertaining conversation, bonding with strangers and great people watching opportunities.

Last night I found myself at a table there with the owner of a WalMart Buddha, a teacher, three mothers, a fisherwoman, a model, a social worker, a Mary Kay saleswoman, a coach, a PR professional, a menopausal nutcase, two recent Sarasota transplants, and several philosophers. And there were only four of us. It made me think (as one Gropius reader has recently written about) that we are soooo lucky to live in place with very interesting, diverse and accomplished women. ....And that many of these women have specifically sought out our community as a place to live and work.

And what's so great about A Taste of Asia? Well, aside from the owner (who's one hell of a female conversationalist herself), if you're even partially inclined to Asian food, you will find something scrumptious on the menu. Carnivore, vegetarian, picky eaters unite!

One of us in the group can be 180% identified with Sally in "When Harry Met Sally" as in:

"I'd like to take a perfectly good menu item, dissect it, reform it my way--with several substitutions that aren't on the menu anywhere--and expect you to recreate it for me."

In addition to having the grace to laugh about this, our server delivered a perfecto rendition of the request.

And I have to say that this must be the only restaurant in downtown Sarasota where you can get away with making loud and inappropriate vocalizations with your straw and your tongue, and it will not only be accepted, but people at other tables will try...and the owner of the restaurant will try. (Although I did not do this, my table mate on a previous night's visit did this and the audience participation soon allayed my initial mortified reaction.)

The windows to Main Street provide excellent insights into the latest fashions being sported around here, I might add.

Thanks for the night of laughter and good times, ladies. And if you missed any slight part of the red carpet premiere of the Coco Channel story, I see that it will be repeated at least 62 times in the next 3 months on Lifetime.

On a Serious Palin Note

You know, one great thing about Sarasota is that our people are pretty conscious about animal rights. Whether or not you're a fan of PETA (which can be quite radical), if you live in Sarasota you're probably aware of what a vegan is, you might see more than just 2 vegetarian choices on restaurant menus, and you know how to adopt a dog or cat from a shelter instead of a pet store. I do love that about our town.

Gropius likes to make you laugh, but I have to get serious here for just a minute. There's something I want you to know about our VP candidate Sarah Palin. She's a true advocate for the hunting of wolves and bears from airplanes (coming from the state of Alaska's own press releases). Isn't that bizarre? I had no idea this sort of thing was even allowed in a civilized society.

If you're not an animal loving guy or gal, that's okay...just stay with me for a minute. This is not a minute detail to be overlooked; it represents the type of barbarism that most of us recognize as plain wrong. This video from Defenders of Wildlife is pretty disturbing, but if you're thinking of voting for the McCain-Palin ticket, at least look at it so you know what comes with your vote.

I'd love your comments to this one, whether you agree or not. It's all about a conversation. This is a conversation people should be having.

I Crack Myself Up

I did something really funny today.

After a long day at work, I began the treck up 301 back home to Bradenton. My thoughts were consumed with various annoying items....

...why did I weigh 5 pounds more at the doctor's office today than I did at work?
...why did I have to read the special report on how lemon slices for water are cut with filthy knives in restaurants & then obsess about it during my lunch at SilverStar?
...and finally, I think I have a dentist appointment next week.

I was at a point where I needed to merge so that I wouldn't be run off the road. And the truck beside me pulled the smooth move of speeding up for the sole purpose of preventing me from merging in front of him. The young redneck man driving looked like a cocky Jason Priestly look-alike (puke in my book).

As I uttered some nasty words about his move to myself, he must have seen me through his rear view mirror, because he turned around and began yelling at me through the glass of both our windshields, laughing.

My response? I crack myself up. I pulled out the Nextel and pretended to be clicking someone on speaker phone. It was funny because he immediately turned around, taking the cue that maybe the words I was uttering had nothing to do with him.

Who's the ass now, dork man?

Local Comedy 101

Today in Gropius, we're going to be covering Local Comedy 101.


It's called getting your hands on a copy of Longboat Key News and checking out the "On Patrol" section, where stories filed by Longboat Key police officers are reprinted in their own words.

In the sleepy, affluent and extremely anal retentive community of Longboat Key, where merely looking at someone in an "offensive" manner could get the cops called on you, I am alarmed at the proliferation of disturbing crimes being investigated by the police force. Take this one, for instance, an excerpt from the September 5 edition of the Longboat Key News:

Aug. 27
Stolen money, purse
10:28 a.m. - I spoke with the complaintant in reference to a larceny from his motor vehicle...There was a $100 bill located in the middle of the purse and six individual $100 bills located in a side pocket of the purse. The complaintant said that the vehicle was unlocked due to a malfunctioning keyless entry remote....A white plastic filter, belonging in a pop-up sprinkler head, was found in the back floorboard of the vehicle where the purse was located. Complaintant stated that the plastic filter did not belong to him or his wife."

There are sooo many comments I could make about this one. How about this?

Aug. 26
Mysterious noises

11:07 p.m.- I responded to Dream Island Road regarding noises coming from the outside of the residence....The residence was open and there was an inground pool that was also open to the rest of the residence. The residence is a safety issue due to it and the pool being unsecured. It also could be used as a hang out. I will forward a copy to code enforcement.

And then there's this one:

Aug. 31
Object in road

We received a report of a motorist who told police he had struck something in the road. The object turned out to be a rock, approximately 12 inches by 12 inches. Unevenly shaped piece of "rip rap."

Other newsworthy reports include that of an unleashed dog with his owner on the beach, a boat without a lock that was discovered and a 911 hang up. What is this world coming to? The crime on Longboat Key!

I swear I'm not making this up. Check it out yourself here.

I was fascinated to see that the newspaper staff altered the police reports "for privacy and grammar." Why hinder the comedy?

Facebook Frenzy

Allow me to diverge a bit from the insignificant events here in the Sarasota/Bradenton Florida area that are the subject of this blog. I need to get a few things off my chest about Facebook. Against all of my best judgement, I followed through with opening account and seeking "friends" who are also active in this online social networking tool. My observations thus far:

• It's somehow liberating and frustrating all-in-one to dig up all the long-lost relationships from the past. Liberating, as in "How wonderful to see this person, look what they're up to now." Frustrating, as in "What in God's name do I do with this now?" That door closed a million years ago, and here he or she is, staring me in the face again. I do like it...with some of them.
  
• You can invest some serious time in this thing. I've noticed that people are obsessive about the number of "friends" on their profile. Do you really have 352 friends? Really? They're really friends? This leads me to a weird point: hardly anyone I currently know is on this thing. It might be a good thing. If they were, I might never see them, except through digital exchanges on our "walls."
  
• It's cool that Audubon, Sierra Club, Friends of the Earth are all "causes" I can support through my Facebook page, but I can't find anyone who's navigated through the black hole of that feature to actually raise money for the cause. New user problem?
  
• No one seems to have gotten fat. At least from the photos they posted. This is becoming a great motivator to help me loose a few pounds and regain my exact high school weight. No offense, JennyCraig, NutriSystem, etc., but the whole idea of you sucks compared with the motivating power behind Facebook.
  
• Finally, Facebook has fully exposed me as the exact same (or similar) human being I was 10-12 years ago. Environmental nutcase, obsessive about details, overcurious about people (even the ones I could stand to loose), and devoting waaaay too much attention to silly things. No, I wouldn't have guessed some of the items in my life, but it feels good to have the same convictions as I always did. It's been 16 years since I've eaten a McDonald's hamburger, or any hamburger for that matter.
  
  
  I'm psyched about some of the folks I've reconnected with. Oh how their lives could be enriched with a little visit to Sarasota.

What now?

Why we live here

I'd say we're pretty lucky. This is the new Robinson Preserve in Bradenton. Can't beat a walk out here, even if it means a little sweat. Spoonbills, wood storks, fruit on the sea grapes, bridges through still salt marshes, grasses with long shadows in the quiet afternoon sun that hide marsh rabbits--it's hard to beat.

Next time Gropius is coming on his gilded leash. The walkie talkies will be left at home.

Mooned!

Every once in a while, a mooning occurs here in Sarasota. Let me tell you, it's a big event.

After one of those stressful weeks, leaving us feeling a little less than average, a great feeling of accomplishment overcame the husband today. Riding around in the company Magnum, he was followed relentlessly by a young group of ladies who finally caught up with him at the light.

The window rolled down and out popped an ass, barely covered in a scanky T-back.

The story was compelling enough for him to share it with me over our wait for dinner this evening. Perhaps after being married for a while, having a tween-aged kid and working relentlessly, it's nice to know someone else really wants to show you their ass.

I asked if it was a nice one. "It was a young one," he replied. Good husband; good, good husband.

I just want to know why he didn't think to bring out the camera phone. It would have scared that little girl, and she just might have become famous here on Gropius.

Campaign Funnies

Nerd passed on this cute one.

Enjoy:

www.peteyandpetunia.com/VoteHere/VoteHere.htm

Write On

A local Marketing Goddess in town recently pointed me to a shiny new contest--a writing contest--which is pure gold for a nerd like me. Here's the deal:

Enter your 500 word essay about what makes Sarasota so great, and if you win, your essay will go up front and center on www.sarasotalocal.com. And you'll also get (drum roll, please)...a free t-shirt from Jakes Downtown! (Anyone know what that is?)

The only problem I have in this little competition is selecting the SINGLE terrific trait of Sarasota Florida as my focus. I do have some first thoughts--impressions of what impresses me the most about this town, if you will.

• I truly love it that Sarasota has more birds than curse words in a Chris Rock segment. It's pretty amazing when you think about it. Winter is the best time of year to soak soak up birds in your binocs, but any month of the year, you can hang out at a retention pond or even a parking lot and see some great feathered friends. (And Sarasota is quickly becoming retention pond city, with SuperTarget and SuperWalmarts on every corner.)
  


• I love it that we host so many fundraising events, showing off so many fugly fashions and plastic faces (and some sincere ones), that we need 3 glossy magazines--and then some--to cover the social scene every month.
  


• I'm still loving Sarasota for the fact that a transexual was once in the running for mayor. That was cool. We're so PC.
  


• I have no choice but to love good 'ole Sarasota for U.S. 41. It's my main route anywhere, and with that designation of "scenic highway," I know I'm not the only one who thinks it's the cat's pajamas. My favorite segment of 41 is "little motel alley," the portion just south of University and just north of the turn- off to Sarasota Jungle Gardens. Otherwise, I would never see real life prostitutes on the way to work each morning.
  


• And speaking of Sarasota Jungle Gardens, I do adore the plethora of museums, attractions, landmarks, historical buildings and spectacles available for visitation here in Sarasota. You could have one hell of a time here on vacation, and spend one hell of a paycheck doing it. So basically, I'm saying that I love the tourists. They give me something to focus on 365 days a year, the short time I spend thinking about my own meager vacation schedule.
  

Although it is extremely cool that the pictures you see of Sarasota on our visitor's bureau website are the pictures you look for in travel magazines when scoping out your dream vacation, I hope we don't see some trite, cliche b.s. about our beloved town on the front page of this obscure website. Let's make it more interesting. Write away, people, and make it good!